Here comes the Sun

March McFatty Monday

2011-03-07T08:30:00.000-05:00

Well, how about a McFatty post to kick off our March right shall we? Thanks again for checking in and keeping me accountable ~~week after week,~~ every so often.

At meeting yesterday, this mama weighed it at 190.00, even. So for the month of February, I gained 2 lbs. Loverly. I know that this journey is a long one, and one that I myself have to control. I have only myself to blame, as I took off one week to get ready for a 4 day stint in Tennessee (that post coming soon!), then I took off the 4 days that I was in Tennessee, then I took off a week to recoup orate and sleep and get over a sinus infection, and so on and so forth. Overall, I am glad that I really only gained 2lbs, considering my first weigh in back from TN I was up 6lbs, and then was down 4 the following week.

I really need to get back onto program, because I do not want this to be like every other time before. Every other time before, I will get so far, and then something will happen to throw me off track, and I just give up. I quit, and usually gain it all back. I cannot LET this be like every other time. I do hate that this seems to take so long, and be so hard, but if it was easy obesity wouldn't be an issue.

So this week is really a chance fr me to re-focus, and get back on track. I plan on going over my materials, getting re-acquainted with my tracker, and making sure that if I bite it, I write it. I also am one sticker away from earning my Points Plus badge, and defeating the Weight Watchers 10-week challenge . It is the one badge, that shows I have tracked, and stayed within my points, for 7 full days. I want this, to be MY week!

Ojos!

2011-03-01T13:18:00.000-05:00

::tap tap tap:: Is this thing on? Did I lose anyone?! Sorry for the recent hiatus! I am been taking a break from blogging because things have been crazy in our house lately! But I have a lot to talk about, and no one to listen, so hopefully that will be so more posts here soon.

So Mr. D had another eyeball appointment at the end of February, and because we are awesome like that, we actually did 2 appointments back to back.

The first appointment we went to was with a Visual Rehabilitative Specialist about 2 hours away, and she was recommended to us by the ROPARD center. Dr. Farense has an amazing reputation of working with infants/kids and being able to pinpoint functional vision, and where some issues may rest, as well as some exercises to be done to improve any usable vision. Dr. Farense is also a whirlwind. She really gets down to the kids level, crawls around, plays, and moves with the kids while she is doing her assessment, all while giving us the information at the same time. We were taking notes frantically, trying to take it all it, while still asking questions. We felt the Dr. was easy to talk to, and great to work with.

By far, the most important piece of information she helped us find is that D actually is NOT blind in his right eye. All of this time we thought the cornea scarring was to advanced, but she found that with the correct type (Bright, hallogen) and color of light (Black, red, and yellow) we can actually get through the scarring and exercise that eye. It was amazing once she pointed it out, once that light came out, and we knew what we were working with we could really get the eye stretching and moving! D was so patient and did a great job working with her. Overall we really just discussed the vision in both eyes (near-sighted in the left, and low but functional in the right) and exercises that we can do to really make the most of his vision.

Also, the Dr. shed a lot of light on different treatments coming forward that they are developing that are already being tested, that will really improve D's vision in the next 10 years. It's amazing what they can do!

Our next appointment was with D's Opthomologist, and did not go as well. Let me put this nicely, we do not enjoy going to this office. This is our 2nd practitioner in the office, and both have been standoff-ish, rude at times, and just unkind. We are not experts and we really rely on them for support and understanding, and let's just say, they stink at it. So we will be looking for our 3rd Optho shortly. We did get the referral that we wanted though; the opportunity to meet with a cornea specialist so we can decide how we want to proceed. Our optho does not feel it is a good idea, but as stated above, did not give us any substantial or sufficient risk factors to consider, so we are going to an expert for his opinion. That appointment is later this month.

Other than the never ending saga of his eyeballs, Mr. D is doing well. Growing like a weed and getting sick every other day. I swear I never expected this much snot to come from someone so small. Gross, but true. He is also STILL refusing to walk (That's right, almost 2, and not walking) and we are just about at our wit's end. We are doing our exercises and really working with him, we have him walk all over the house, and with assistance he does great. Runs even. But ex-nay on the walking. Sigh. One day, when he feels like it, he will do it. At least I hope so.

He is really starting to develop quite the personality, and most of the time is such a happy guy. He loves eating and is really starting to love his bath time. The last couple baths he cried when it was time to get out, even though he was well past the prune stage! He has such an infectious smile!

Valentine's Day Photo shoot

2011-02-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's day, filled with love and laughter; family and friends. I was very lucky yesterday and was able to spend the evening with my 2 boys and R's parents. We had a huge family dinner with roast and veggies courtesy of my MIL. We celebrated both Valentine's day and R's birthday last night, since his birthday is today.

R was sweet and brought me home a funny card that was PERFECT for the 2 of us. I will try to get it loaded up here this week so you can read it. He also surprised me with 3 red roses and some new...cookware. I think he is trying to tell me something. It's a new Kitchenaid set that is red and black, pretty heavy duty, and non-stick. I am digging it so far.

D had PT yesterday morning (still going well, he is holding out on walking...STILL, but he is so close. His therapist keeps saying it will just be a week or 2 yet) and then spent the day with his grandma. She was kind enough to take this photo shoot for me.

I love the last one. He totally looks like "Love, schmove. Get me outta here." Thats right buddy. Keep that attitude until your about 27. Thanks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY AMAZING, UNDERSTANDING, KIND, SWEET, FUNNY, HANDSOME, AND ALL AROUND GREAT HUSBAND! WE LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK. - Mama and D-Dude. (P.S You are a quarter of a century old now. And, still older than me. But thats okay, I'm not ready to trade down just yet. Your still pretty handsome for that. <3 haha.)

Because fun size is well, Funner!

2011-01-31T13:09:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else laugh at the word; Funner? Or rather, the non-word Funner? I don't know, I know it is not a word, or even good english, but I still think it's funny. I know, easy to amuse.

Let's talk Mini-goals shall we?!

Last week's goals:

Weight loss- this one is a secret, no sharing until Friday!! Fat-Free Friday! Wewt!
Food- Fruits/Veggies/Power Foods- I did okay on this one. I actually had a worse "eating week" last week than usual. I went way over both my daily and weekly amount of points, and ate what I earned through exercise. Whoops. Oh well, this is a marathon, not a sprint, and I will get there. One day.

Sweat!- I took a few, ahem personal days from exercising this week. Opps. 4x/this week. Not my goal, but still way better than where I was a year ago. I also busted out my C25k program again, and ran 2x this week, and both times were at a faster pace than I was running this year. My first 2011 race is in March (Run for the House; a 5k benefiting the Ronald McDonald house, where Ryan and I stayed a few times when Dawson was still in the hospital) so I really need to get some more running in my life.
Health- Yep, I forgot to floss this week. Boo. No Excuse here.
My Main Man!!- D had a really good PT appt today and his Therapist really thinks he will be walking within the next few weeks. We still have to keep plugging away at this one, but we are making progress.

So, all in all, this week was well just okay. Dawson actually had strep mid-week and so skipping the gym to sleep became a priority and I just slacked with making good snacking decisions this week. Oh well, something to learn from!

Onward and Upward!!

This Week's Goals;

Weight Loss- I actually am undecided on this one. I would love to lose 2.2, because that will take me to another HUGE milestone, but I also don't want to get into the downward spiral of setting my expectations to high. Humm. Let's go with 1lb. I would love to lose 1 MORE lb this week. 1 More lb to kick to the curb! I think 1lb is also a great goal for Super Bowl week!!

Weight Loss 2.0- Our WW meeting does this cool thing with a 3 month journal called a travelling tracker. One member takes it for a week and we rotate. It is supposed to really help us stay accountable and get our tracking back on track (haha tracking on track) Well I have it this week, so my other goal is to AVOID the WW E-tools as much as possible. I am still going to use it when I need it, but I want to use this as a challenge to really get to know the new WW program inside and out, and really KNOW it. E-tools will not always be available to me, and I would like to become more confident in myself and my WW decisions.

Sweat- Again, I would like to workout 5x this week, but I would like 3 of those 5 to be runs.
Health- Let's give this flossing thing one more shot. Floss 4x this week.
Mr. Dude- We need to start introducing him to self-feeding with utensils. So this week, I have to hand over the fork!

So that's it sunshine, let's have a GREAT week! Happy Superbowl week! Who are you rooting for?! We are (I Guess, according to the Hubbs) a Packers household this week. Which makes me sad. Because I really like that Black and Yellow song. haha. "BlackNYellow BlackNYellow BlackNYellow BlackNYellow"

Fat Free Friday- So Long January!

2011-01-28T13:08:00.002-05:00

25LBS! (189.0)

189.0!!! TOTAL LOSS 25.4lbs! WAHOO! Holy Crap I feel like it took me FOREVER to get here! But I am NEVER.GOING.BACK. I am officially in the 180's, I have officially lost 25lbs, I am officially ecstatic about my weight loss. Well, I always have been happy about my weight loss. But seriously. ECSTATIC!

And, I apologize for the super awesome blurry cell-phone pic. I seem to have misplaced my camera (Drat!) so I had to do pics with the blackberry this week. That is me rocking out my new SIZE 12 jeans, and if you look closely, zebra print peep toe pumps. I am all about feeling sassy today!

I can honestly say, this is the best I have ever done on program with WW. I am on week 8, with a total program loss of 8.4lbs, and I am hoping to push it into the 10's/5% range come Sunday. ::Fingers crossed!!::

And because I love rewards, and think non-food rewards can be amazing motivators for weight loss, here was my gift, to myself for finally taking off 25lbs.

A super cute, huge, new gym bag. The inside is all waterproof, so the bag doesn't smell like my gym socks when I get done working out, and there are approximately 12 tall pockets on this thing to fit all of my necessities. It may also serve as my carry on for Tennessee next month!

In the mean time I am still working on my small, but attainable goals I posted about on Monday. This week started out a little rough, but that's okay. Slow and steady wins the race, and you can never re-do a goal to many times. Have a great weekend ya'll!! Leave me some love and I will be sure to ~~come help you spend your money on rewards~~ cheer you on too!

Today's blog is brought to you by;

2011-01-25T09:38:00.000-05:00

JELLO!

My poor little dude is cutting some major teeth right now. Both the top right eye tooth and molar, and the top left tooth next to the front teeth. We are starting to see the outlines of a few more popping around, so it has been a teeny bit cranky in our house as of late. Despite the fever and teeth though, he is still loving to play and explore. Kitchen utensils and food are still his favorite! I should do a post one day about everything Dawson eats in a day. You would choke on your oats. I swear!

Mini Goal Monday

2011-01-24T11:26:00.000-05:00

In true Here comes the Sun fashion, here I am to rip off another blog idea that I love! ha! I really have enjoyed getting to read Monica's blog over the last few months. She is a daily food blogger, a runner, and a spit-fiery red-head (with a cutie cat to boot!).

Well every Monday she does this post about her weekly mini-goals. Mini-goals? How awesome is that? I can do some mini-goals! So I thought I would post and share what I am going to be working and focusing on this week.

Weight Loss!

A given, but I would really like to lose at least 1.6lbs this week. That would bring me to a total of 10lbs lost with WW, and bring me to my 5% weight loss goal. (A goal that WW automatically sets for you.)

Foooooooood

I would like to keep focusing on getting in my fruits, veggies and power foods. Last week I could really tell a difference in how much better I felt, and how much longer my tank was full!

Sweat!

Last week I worked out 6x/week. I was really proud of myself for making it a priority, but I also know that 5x is also a great accomplishment. I am going to leave my weekly goal for 5x and try to stick with the 6 days. I just don't want to start beating myself up if I need to rest!

Health

I am hoping I am not alone here, but I am really bad at remembering to floss. I have bought gadgets and pics and doo-dads to try and make flossing more appealing, but well it doesn't work. Because it's flossing. I would like to get better about adding this into my nightly routine, and do this 4x this week.

My Main Man!!

Not that we don't regularly anyway, but we are continuing to work on his walking skills this week. We have some exercises that we do, and just really try to build his confidence. He is so close, but still resisting taking the plunge.

Also, call me corny, but I seen this on the Biggest Loser this week, and thought it was a great idea! One of the team members, Jay from the Green Team, had a number goal in mind for his weigh in. He wrote it on his forearm everyday, to keep that as a reminder of what he was working towards. I tried it last week, I wrote the number of weight I wanted to lose on the inside of my wrist/ or top of my hand every day. I really thought it was encouraging and kept my goal FRONT AND CENTER for me last week. And it worked. That's all I'm telling you. For my actual weigh in, wait for FFF!!

As noted above, my goal is 1.6 but 2 is easier to write left handed!

Fat Free Friday 1/21/11

2011-01-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

Good Morning peeps, and Happy Friday!! Welcome to Fat Free Friday hosted by myself here at Here comes the Sun, and Tara at Many Sleepless Nights. We have teamed up to bring you a weight-loss inspired blog check in! We have both had very different journeys with weight loss & we hope to inspire & motivate you each week. We also know that you have your own stories of inspiration. We want to hear your stories as well! Your loss, your gain, your goals, your rewards, everything! We want this to be a place where any other blogger that is sharing our weight-loss journey can link up their blog and share their story!! Just leave me some love below, and I will be sure to come check out your story!

I am so glad it is finally Friday! Why didn't someone create 2 day work weeks and 5 day weekends, that would really just suit me way better.

So, I actually do not have a weight to report today. GASP! I know! But, on Sunday of last week, I decided to go to my 2nd WW meeting of the week, because I really liked last weeks topic (Power foods*) and can always use the refresher. Well, like always, my plans never turn out right. Turns out Sunday kicks off the WW week so I got a sneak peek of this weeks topic (Using your weekly points, the RIGHT way) which I would have attended on Wednesday. Only, I liked this meeting WAY better. So I decided to switch meetings, so I will be going on Sundays at 11am now. The leader is great, the group is chatty and helpful, I just really enjoyed myself. And that will give me 5 days to get my FFF post ready. Win!

I do have something to report though. Over the weekend I was in Target (I<3 Target) and bought a new pair of jeans. There were 2 pair I was deciding on, and I ended up getting just one. They were Merona's Boot-cut jeans with the Comfort, no gap waistband. Yeah I said it. Whatever.

These jeans had a comfortable waistband (No digging, no gapping) and were the perfect cut to wear with high-heeled boots to work. I really like them, but after wearing them once, I found they had a little to much stretch. So at the end of the day, they were too bulky. I am going to return them for a smaller size.

In the mean time, I have not been able to get the second pair of jeans out of my mind. They were a wider cut, Merona, Trouser denim jean. Classy, and cute. So I went back for them last night. And bought them. IN A SIZE 12. This is such a great non-scale victory for me! I was so happy, and I have not been a 12 in...pshhhhhew....3 years? My wedding dress was a 12. The shorts I wore on my honeymoon were 12s (2007) but one year later on our anniversary cruise to the Caribbean (2008), I wore a size 14. It has just helped my attitude toward my Weight-loss adventure, and proven to be another push for me.

Anyway, enough about my pants. I hope you all have a wonderful Friday, I am. I got up early and tried Jillian Michaels's new "Shred it with Weights" Dvd. I did it with a 10lb kettlebell and I really enjoyed the workout. Its quick (30mins) but in the first 5 you will feel the sweat start to move. I also added 3 mins of plank rotations to the end of it. I am also having an amazing hair day, and while some systems are struggling at work this morning, I have nothing but high hopes for today. I am celebrating Christmas tonight with some Veggie Pizza, and amazing company, in the form of a long lost friend. I haven't seen this girl in far to long, and I am looking forward to some girl talk.

Have a fantastic weekend, and see you all on the flipside!

*"Power Foods are determined by the energy density of a food as well as the nutrient content of a serving of food. We combined foods into categories, for example beef, cookies, yogurt, and ranked all the foods in each category using a proprietary formula tailored to the category. (Some categories, such as cookies, do not have any items that make the cut.) The foods that rose to the top of the list — based on the lowest energy density, as well as being low in fat, saturated fat, sugar, sodium, (depending on category) and/or fiber — are determined to be Power Foods. They are the healthiest and most filling choices within a specific category of foods" Taken from WeightWatchers.com

Fat Free Friday

2011-01-14T08:34:00.001-05:00

So, because I adore Many Sleepless Nights, I suppose I will get back to doing these. I feel like I had such a great momentum going, and then as soon as the holidays hit and I had a gain. I quit. I always do that. As soon as I gain, I hide from it, don't want to talk about it, don't want to OWN it, that I just act like it doesn't happen. Which is not good. Unfortunately, gains are part of the adventure and something that must be owned. I would really like to work on identifying my bad weeks, my gains and what got me there, as well as owning up to them when they happen. Boo. So, Welcome back to Fat Free Friday at Here Comes the Sun!

So, on that not. I am dying. Well not really. But I feel like it. I have been sick for almost a week, and this is the worst I have felt, since, well pregnancy. [Talk about a scary thought!] I have the whole, coughing, sneezing achey crap, and then add to that an ear infection and dizzy spells, and well I am a whole pile of fun!
So this week I have been hitting the fruits like crazy, and shooting NyQuil like it's my job. Usually when I am stuck home [weekends] I am worse at sticking to program, and end up going over my P+ and sometimes even over my weekly points, but because of the amount, of moaning and sleeping I have been doing it hasn't really been to bad this week. So I still went to meeting. I wasn't really sure how to feel, because the last time I worked out this week was Saturday [BodyPump].

And...191.4! WAHOO! Down 2.8 from last week and at a Total loss of 23lbs. I will take it.

TELL ME: What do you do when you are sick? Sleep? Kick back the OJ? What helps you tackle a cold? AND, do you keep up your fitness regimen?

When you have a gain, do you own it? Ignore it? Identify it? Talk to me about owning up!

WeightWatcher, P+ and what that means for me!

2011-01-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

So, a little back story here.

I had my first rendezvous with Weight Watchers in 2005. Back then, we had a leader coming to work once a week, and they did the whole weigh in and meeting spiel in one of our conference rooms. Since then, I have been on program approximately 4598347598 times. Seriously. They have seen me through my engagement, wedding, honeymoon [oy vey, the gain!], countless holidays and summers, and then I quit when R and I decided to TTC. And for me, quitting meant diving face first into a carton of Ben & Jerrys, and fifth of Rum and a drive through Taco Bell for good measure. I am pretty sure I gained more weight TTC, then I did when I was knocked up [Thank you Mother Nature for morning sickness, and a 24 week pregnancy. Actually no thanks to that last part. I'm still pretty ticked about that one. but I digress]

I tried program one more time in January of 2010 [211lbs] when they announced our leader was moving on to bigger and better things, and we were getting a new one. The new girl, bless her heart, lasted about 3 weeks before attendance plummeted and the program was canceled. In the time since, my work has introduced IncentaHealth [which I have talked about here before] and had no intention to bring WW back, so I pretty much put WW out of my mind and went at it on my own.

Now, WW has been in business for a l-o-n-g time and has pretty hard and fast reasoning for it's success. I am sure all members will have different answers to this, but for me it's easy. 1. Tracking. 2. Lifestyle changes that are long term. 3. Ease of Points.

1. Tracking- Each food as a point value. If you bite it, lick it, drink it, or taste it, You track it. Case closed.
You are given a points target each day, and an addition set of points available to you each week that can be used all at once, or a few a day, or however you choose. Activity will also earn you back points that you can use. Each food, drink and otherwise has been given a points value based on it's content; Fiber, Protein, Carbohydrate, and Fat. Bottom line is if you stay within your points, you will almost always, lose weight. It holds you accountable, and takes a lot of the guesswork out of weight loss. If you hit a plateau there is something to go back to and review. If you are in a rut you can go back to your journal and see what meals worked for you a month ago. Journaling is a pain in the butt, but it works.

2. Lifestyle Changes- Aside from tracking and the obsession that it can bring, the food choices and education that comes with WW can be for life. There are no meals required to purchase, no pills, no shakes, nada. What the plan is NOW teaching you, is easy to maintain for life, and in my opinion, betters MY relationship with food. It has helped me learn portion controls, has taught me more about nutrition and what protein, carbs and calories mean for my body. It has given me a crash course in food education.

Side track- In my opinion, it has not always been that way. Before the relaunch in December, it was all about calories. Calories in and Calories out. Before, other than your own feelings and knowledge, there was no "reward" for choosing a banana over a low calorie brownie, or 100-calorie pack treat. Nada. Same point value, but as you can imagine, the chemicals in a 100-calorie pack [hey, don't look at me that way. If chocolate is less than 100 calories, it is either the size of a freckle or it has been chemically altered. Point Blank. Doesn't mean I think that chemical tastes like dung, cuz I don't. I love me some chemicals] do not have quite the same reaction in the body as a banana does. Now, before if I had the option of a banana or some 100 cal mini ho-hos, I think we all know which one I picked. Turns out, I am not alone. FF to December and here comes the re-launch. Now there are some MAJOR rewards for choosing to live a cleaner, healthier lifestyle. They have changed the foods points, to give lower points values for food that contains less chemicals, such as fruits, veggies, lite whole grains, healthy oils etc etc. They are stressing good health guidelines [fruit, veggies, grains, dairy, healthy oils, and a few others] more than ever and really encouraging members to move AWAY from processed foods. Add that to my fascination with clean eating and foods, and I am a happy camper. This adds to my second point, these are solid, healthy lifestyle changes. I do not want D to grow up hating vegetables or never having tasted some fruits. I want him to be open and diverse in his food choices. I know he will undoubtedly go through a picky phase or five, but I do not want him to be that way, because I was. This also doesn't mean I won't let him try soda or pop tarts in five years or so. Ha! It just means, I want him to at least grow up on healthy choices, with treats thrown in. Not treats with some apples thrown in, and maybe some Iceburg lettuce once a month.Whoa, side tangent, where was I? Oh yeah, So these are habits I like, I want to learn, and I want to stick with.

3. Ease of points. Once you learn the program, and have the tools to make it work, converting foods is easy. The food never changes. The food didn't lose calories or change in the relaunch, the only difference is the way WW helps you look at them. I have tried free programs before, calorie counting mostly. And just like WW, they have you track. Only they have you track almost the whole darn label. Now granted, it's free so there is some draw there, but honestly I like that I only have to look at 4 things to know whats going on, and keep myself in check. That and money talks. Paying, makes me participate and learn. And what I am learning makes sense.

Now, what does this mean for Here Comes The Sun. It means, you will read more about WW program, and my meetings. When I see something I like, I learned about, or I thought was interesting I will share. This does NOT mean I will be selling you the program. Honestly, other than my membership and my points calculator, I don't even buy their products, because I am cheap. This is not a sales pitch, and while I would love to encourage others to be interested in program, and sit in on a meeting for free, there are no gimmicks here. If you have questions, I will answer. But you should never feel like a buyer here. If you do, leave me a comment smacking me on the head.

If you made it through this post I come baring bananas, but you will see some of this information pop up in the future, and I just wanted you to know what the heck I was talking about. Because I am nice like that. Now I also come baring another gift. I want you to head over and visit Sheryl, at Bitchcakes. Now Sheryl is not for the faint of heart. Her blog may not be SFW [safe for work, I wouldn't open if you have a boss who lurks] BUT, she has lost over 60lbs on program, and has a TON of information on her blog. Everything you need to know about P+ and program, as well as her journey at becoming a runner, the Chronicles of her and her BFF Hello Kitty Cruiser taking on the Big Apple, and even some racy before and afters. Now, I will not be doing any before and afters in my skivvies, but Sheryl is an inspiration. Here I come GOAL!

[Almost] Wordless Wednesday

2011-01-12T20:34:00.003-05:00

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeese!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-07T13:14:00.002-05:00

Well Well Well, Here were are in a NEW year, and a NEW day! I apologize for my blogging hiatus, and I hope you are all still here with me! Our holidays were wonderful, busy and chaotic but still fun. We were all very spoiled and I hope Santa has taken care of you as well!

D is growing like a weed, still working on the walking thing but we are getting there. He loves to play, all day, every day. He is a little climber man and loves tumbling, and is IN.TO.EVERYTHING. More than loving to play, he loves to eat. I cannot even describe the amount that child consumes in a day. It's insane. And, he loves eating off of [anyone's] plate. The minute he hears that spoon or fork touch the bowl, he comes barreling in and will stand in front of you with his mouth open and ready! He is mostly on table food, and will try just about anything. We still use some baby foods to make sure he is getting enough fruits and veggies with his foods since those are still hard for his 7 little teeth to tear up. I see that ending here soon though, because right now he is cutting both and eye tooth, and a molar. Pray for me.

Me, well I've been good. Still chugging away at least! I decided to switch tracks a little bit and I re-joined Weight Watchers in December. I am really loving the new PointsPlus [P+] Program and it has been working well so far. I finally crossed over into the 180s on Christmas Eve (189.4 ha!) but sadly, I am back in the 190s after way to many sweets and booze this Holiday season. Ah well. You win some you lose some. Here's to losing more than I ~~win~~ gain.I have also decided to ditch the Alli, and have been off of it for about a month. I decided that I didn't like spending the money on it, and WW makes me keep a conscious thought on my food choices anyway, so I took that money and signed up for 2 new classes they are offering on my lunch hour at work. I also took the leap and signed up for a 10k in May. As you may remember, I barely made it through the 5k on Thanksgiving [but I still RAN THE WHOLE THING!!::fist pump::] so I have a lot of training to do. I need to get re-focused on my running, because lately I have been all about SPIN! I am taking 2 classes a week, and man they are great workouts! I leave just dripping, and I love that feeling.

And of course, like everyone else, I have my own set of 2011 ~~Resolutions~~ Goals. I am not going to inundate my blog with them, because I am approaching them slowly and making the changes in my life I need to make, so that they are LASTING changes! The first two I tackled....Saving $ and Eliminating pop from my everyday diet. R and I took the time last week and opened 2 savings accounts. One for vacations (because we have lots of plans for our family's yearly travels!!) and one for actual savings. Each pay-period we have money automatically moved over into them, and they are not attached to our regular account, so here's hoping we can keep our paws off of it! The second one was simple, I wanted to ditch the daily Diet Pepsi habit. I am not saying I will never have it again, because I love it when we go out, but I just don't want to feel reliant on it every day. Thankfully this sore throat I am rocking has made this one easy, and I haven't had a soda since...Saturday! Wahoo!

I am looking forward to getting back to blogging more, Ive missed that release of just writing! Hoping all is well with my readers out there, and I try to get out and click on my followers but some of you are private. If you blog, I would love for you to leave me your address so I can check you out!!

Fat-Free Friday!!

2010-12-03T16:28:00.004-05:00

Welcome to the first REAL Fat Free Friday!! Myself, along with Many Sleepless Nights & I was a fat bride, are so very excited to bring to you, FAT FREE FRIDAYS!! The Weekly Weight, Health & Fitness blog hop happening every Friday!I am so glad ya'll decided to check in and I look forward to reading about everyone's adventures in weight loss, fitness, overall health etc etc!

You can read more about this program HERE and HERE, and get a ~~brief~~, agonizing recap of my journey HERE! I have been on my weight loss adventure since May and have lost a total of 21.2lbs. Ideally, I have 38.6lbs to go, for a goal weight of 155lbs. I have a lot to work on!! Here is a breakdown of my goals and accomplishments I have mentioned around these parts before!!

Beginning Weight- 214.8

First Weight Goal- Under 200 by vacation (7/17/10).--DONE! 7/16 199.8

Fitness Goal- First 5k 10/9/10 --DONE!! PR 40:58:59

Fitness Goal- Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving (11/25/10)--DONE!! 43:00:00

Second Weight Goal- 180's by Christmas

Fitness goal- 10k May 2011 Finish time sub 1:30

Third Goal- 160 by my birthday (June 6, 2011)

Ultimate Weight Goal- In the 150's by August 2011.We have a very important event in our family that month, that we have all been looking forward to and I want to look good! It is a wedding and both my Hubby and Son are in it, and I would love to be able to have our picture taken and for once, NOT HATE IT!!

Ultimate Fitness Goal- Half Marathon Sept 2011 with a finish time of under 3 hours.

So as you can see, I set very specific goals for myself and I feel that they are all attainable.

With that said, I have been looking forward to FFF (Fat-Free Friday) Kickoff for 2 weeks and guess what?! I gained .8 lbs. Oh shoot. Oh well, Onward and Upward and this is a new week!

This week, I would really like to talk produce! This week a co-worker referred me to doortodoororganics.com and I am scheduled to get my first delivery next week! I am so excited. What it is, is a produce delivery service that is all locally grown organic produce. You can pick your own box size and delivery frequency and Viola! It just shows up on your porch one day by the time you get home from work. I ordered the small box and this week I am getting;

5 Roma Tomatoes
3 Baker Russet Pototoes
1 bunch Red Leaf Lettuce
3 Cucumbers
1 Fennel Bulb (this is new to me, but I got a yummy recipe to try...)
1 lb Carrots
2 Zucchini Squash (squashs? Squashes?)
2 Pomegranates
2 Pears
2 Kiwis
4 Apples
1 Avocado
4 Oranges
2 Yams (which I don't like. Any good recipes out there? Otherwise I will be making these for D!)

One, I love produce, and two, I love a bargain!! All of that, fresh, locally grown and organic for 30 bucks! WAHOO! I picked the small size box (there is a smaller size, the Bitty) and I get delivery service every 2 weeks. My first delivery is Tuesday and I am so excited! We shall see how it all looks and tastes next week!
*I was not paid nor provided free items to endorse this site. It was of my own finding and purchased with my own cold-hard cash.

Thanks again for stopping by for the first edition of Fat-Free Friday, and please remember to check out my co-hosts Tara and Allie. Leave a little love for my girls, and don't forget to link up!! We want to share the love with you too!

Let's talk turkey (Fat- Free FRIDAY)

2010-11-26T09:25:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the BLACK FRIDAY edition of Fat-Free Friday. Again, our official launch is NEXT Friday, but since I weighed in, you are getting a bonus! True Black Friday right here at Here Comes the Sun!

Yesterday morning I got up at ~~7:15~~ 7:30 and raced around to get ready. Ready for what? I ran my very first TURKEY TROT yesterday morning. This is our capital's 10th Turkey Trot and the turnout was AMAZING!! It was so packed, and so fun! I did not have high-hopes for this race since our whole house has been sick for the last week, and I have not run longer than 5 minutes since before daylight-saving time. I got out there, and it was spritzing, which has yet to improve my run time. But you know what? I HAD FUN! The crowd was awesome, packed, and in great spirits. There were costumes, puppies, stroller, kids cheering on their parents, patrolmen cheerleaders and just a TON of people. I was determined to run for the first mile and a half, and then walk half and then just get through it as I could. And I forgot to walk. For real, my legs just felt great and I was pacing myself and enjoying the music and crowd and I never walked!! I RAN MY FIRST FULL 5k, THANKSGIVING DAY 2010. WAHOOOO!!!

Chip Time: 43:00 on the dot.
Gun Time: 43:55

So this certainly was not my fastest 5k, but I don't even care. I finished [along with 2,307 others!!!!!], and I finished running. What an amazing accomplishment! I LOVE IT!

We then went to family's to enjoy the festivities. I am so Thankful for all I have been blessed with. I have TWO amazing families, An amazing miracle boy and great husband, my job, my health that is on the mend and so many material things. I ate, enjoyed, giggled, and just had a GREAT day. D was a total ham and took it all in, showed off and ate up! He loved all of the different kinds of potatoes, squash soup, and green beans. Turkey was still a little to hard for him this year, but he tried it anyway.
Last night my Bestie Joy surprised her family by coming home for Thanksgiving, and surprised us after. It was a GREAT surprise. We were up until midnight just talking and laughing. I miss that girl!

I chose to pass on Black Friday this year, but still got up in time to grab bagels for my team at work today. Then, I had to weigh in. Dum Dum Dum. I wasn't sure if I was even going to today, but I felt good about my choices this week and my activities, so I figured, gain or loss, I was going to own it.

192.8

I lost .6lbs the week of Thanksgiving [total loss 22lbs], and I am PROUD of that. Whoop Whoop!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and if you so choose, I hope you score some amazing deals this Black Friday. Shop on!!

Oh and HEY! Don't be stingy, my FFF Girls need love too! Hop on over and share the love with Tara and Allie!

Shutterfly plug-in

2010-11-21T01:36:00.002-05:00

So, in case you have been living under a rock or I just happen to be the one and only blog you read, let me fill you in on this ahh-mazing offer Shutterfly is doing this Holiday season.

They are giving away 50 FREE Holiday cards for bloggers! 50 FREE cards. How awesome is that?! Wahoo, I love saving some big bucks, especially on essentials, and even more so during the Holiday season!!

So let me tell you why this excites me so much, other than the free part. Last year I went to the store, and I bought the cutest Christmas cards. They were aqua with little cartoon snowmen on the front. White snowflakes falling and it just said a simple "Let It Snow". Nice, cheerful greeting on the inside and I got them on clearance for 75% off in a doorbuster the day after Thanksgiving. I know, not exciting right. Hang in there, it's coming.

Those cards, are still in the box, in my office. Untouched. Unsigned. Unsent. Boo!

Why you ask. Well, last year in November we called in advance and set up our appointment with Portrait Innovations. We went in, and we were all cute and dressed up and had all these great poses thought up where our boy would be so.cute. Only, he didn't care. They stuffed him in a present box, and not a peep. Not a smile, smidge, cry. Nada. He looked like a [rein]deer in headlights. And then the family pose came around...and he wouldn't even look at the lady. I of course, spent way to much money on poses of my son squished in a box with a terrified look on his face, and none of our family. By the time I got all of my poses I didn't want to spend the money on postage to mail out mediocre photos. Haha. FAIL.

This year, I already got my poses back. But I'm not sharing until my cards are done. What can I say, I am a photo-tease. [Important word there, PHOTO] I am all ready for shutterfly to take their plug and send me my coupon code. I will show you what cards I am digging this year though...

I have 2 horizontal pictures that I really like and want to work with, and they have a blue, red and black base about them. Choosing is going to be TOUGH!!!

And I really like this last one, but my photos are not really compatible with this one.

You can see all of their other greeting cards right HERE, and their Christmas Card selection HERE! [They have a huge selection, click when you have some time to let your imagination wander!]

I am super excited about my Christmas cards this year, I think this means I am growing up...YIPES! Do you do Christmas cards, and do they include photos? Do you do the annual newsletter?!

Are you a blogger who is also interested in getting free cards? Register HERE!!

Fat Free FRI-DAYYYYY! (sneak peek edition)

2010-11-19T15:51:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the [sneak peek] of Fat-Free Friday! Myself, along with Many Sleepless Nights and I Was A Fat Bride have teamed up to bring you a weight-loss inspired blog hop! Starting Friday, December 3rd, the 3 of us are planning on bringing you some amazing motivation to stand up, put down the chocolate and get happy! Ahh who are we kidding, we really just want you to read our blogs and give us the kick in the pants we need every few ~~days~~, ~~no weeks~~, months!

We all have had very different journeys with weight-loss and we hope to inspire and motivate you each week. We want to hear your stories! Your loss, your gain, your goals, your rewards, everything! We want this to be a place where any other blogger that is sharing our journey can share their story! It doesn't have to be weight loss, it can be fitness goals, lifetime goals, personal goals, vanity goals, whatever just share them with us!

[Now wait a second, Isn't this similar to another weight loss blog hop out there?!]

Why yes, yes it is. BUT I don't know about you, but I cannot weigh in on Monday. Nope. Can't do it. And while I LOVE that it is working for SO MANY people (Wahoo, go McFattys!) It doesn't work for me, and a few others that I know and LOVE (ahem, see above) so we wanted to offer another means of support for those of us that cave to the weekend temptations!

For our first week, we are all three "hosting" the hop and then we will alternate who is in the host spot. While we don't want you to feel like there are rigid rules that you have to follow in order to participate, we would like for you come, stop-in and join us, while following as many of the other participants that fits your fancy. If you could, pop in and leave a meaningful comment to their weight-loss post of the week. Being supportive is so important in any journey but it is especially true when we are trying to lose weight. We would also love it if you would include our button on your weekly weight-loss post & be sure to add your blog to the linky!

I am so EXCITED [did you get that? I am excited!] to say that as of today's weigh in [193.4] I have lost 21.4lbs and had my first normal BP reading 2 weeks ago. I would love for that to become consistent, and have every BP reading be normal from here. In addition to my BP, they are now working on getting my Thyroid levels normal as I have hypothyroidism. Fun fun!

Please feel free to leave me a comment and ask any questions you have, either about me, my journey, Alli, or about Fat Free Friday. I hope to see you at the kickoff, but for now go leave some of my favorites, Allie and Tara some love!!

Wahoo! Date night!

2010-11-18T12:39:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I am going on a date. Yes, with the husband. Hey, he asked too.

Me [via text]: Hey, so you've been lookin pretty fine and I was wondering if I could take you out on a date Saturday night? My treat! [what can I say, I'm a classy girl!]

Husband [via text]: Was that supposed to be sent to me?!

That husband, he is so silly. I told him he could pick any place that he wanted to go and I would take him out for dinner. The only catch was that I get to pick the movie. He is so excited, and it already made 4 suggestions for dinner. What he doesn't know, is that we are seeing Harry Potter! Heh heh heh...

National Prematurity Awareness Day

2010-11-17T18:46:00.000-05:00

2 years ago my boy flipped our lives upside down and inside out in the matter of 3 hours and 16 minutes. At a mere 24w and 3d, he decided his time was up and he was ready, now. Only, we weren't ready for him.

To see the beginning of our story, please visit here.

-Dawson was born weighing less than a sack of sugar.
-He took his first helicopter ride before he even took his first snuggle.
-He went under the knife for the first time at 3 weeks old, and has done so again over SEVEN times.
-Dawson was 35 days old when I held him FOR THE FIRST TIME.
-Dawson not only had to learn how to sit-up and crawl, but he had to learn to brethe, suck, swallow and even cry.
-When Dawson was born, his eyes were still fused shut.
-Dawson spent the first 127 days of this life, in a NICU.
-Because he was born early, he will forever be special needs. His visual impaired-ness is irreversible, for now!
-Our Dr. appts take HOURS because of all of the things we have to re-address, every 2 months. Reflux, BPD, PDA, ROP and his development.
-He has at least one appointment every week, sometimes more.
-Dawson is 19 months old, and still drinks from a bottle, crawls every where he goes. He has yet to eat a full meal of Table foods. Last week, His Day-care provider, Grandmother, and I collectively taught him to wave Bye-Bye.

Now? Now my boy is UNSTOPPABLE. He is energetic, stubborn, and SILLY. He is an honest-to-goodness real life Miracle story.

Unfortunately, all stories do not end the same as mine. I have mentioned some of them before, but I have watched too many mothers suffer the loss of a child due to prematurity. I started this blog because I wanted NO OTHER MOTHER to have to write a story like mine.

Today, like every day, I blog for Dawson.
But today I also blog for those preemies that I have had the pleasure of "meeting";
Aaron, Wren, Marino, Ruby, Andrew, Jayden, Alex, Paige, Isabella, Giovanni, Avery, And Jack
And so many others [I apologize if I have missed anyone that I shouldn't have.]

Unfortunately, Today I also blog for those that could not win the fight, and for those that we will FOREVER love and miss!
Logan & Brody, Wyatt, Jillian, Katie Jane, Matthew Finley, Nolan, Aidan, Annaleigh, Gabriel, and Heather.
Rest in Peace sweet Angels, for you will forever be loved.

Every story is different, but every preemie is the driving force behind a wonderful organization called the March of Dimes. Preemies are amazing, strong and courageous people, but they are people born into suffering, and a fight they didn't ask for. Every preemie is special, and they are special to so, so many people. Parent, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Siblings, and the amazing Drs and Nurses that dedicate their life's work to helping these babies fight. They cannot do it alone. We need you to come forward and be a champion for babies!! Please visit the link above to see how you can help the March of Dimes. FIGHT FOR BABIES!!

You know you are a mom when...

2010-11-17T16:06:00.001-05:00

Your leftovers come to work with you in a Bob the Builder tupperware bowl!

It looks like Bronners threw up on my blog!

2010-11-16T09:15:00.001-05:00

"Oh Christmas tree, OHH Christmas tree..."

Yeah, yeah I definitely did NOT respect the turkey. But I cannot help it, I am so excited for D's second Christmas that I am already in a festive spirit. I thought it looked cute.

Also, please tell me what you think of the new layout. Too busy? Too wordy? Too perfect?! I have some amazing changes coming up here on the blog and cannot wait to see if you like them or not. Friday me and two other amazing bloggers have a new link up going on, and I would really love if you came back to check it out. Plus, I am trying as hard as I can to keep the posts coming!

On another note, I couldn't wait to come home and work on my blog tonight, because my workout stunk. Um, boo. 30 minutes of Tabata [Have you googled Tabata yet? You should. Or check it out HERE] and then 15 on the dreadmill. Yep, only 15 because I was tired and bored and stinkin it up.

On a good note I did learn a little about foam rolling tonight. Ahh, it hurts so good!

P.S If you don't know what Bronner's is, Click here!

Because some days are just a hat kinda day!

2010-11-15T16:25:00.000-05:00

Every Monday Dawson gets to spend the day with his grandparents after a meeting with Early on in the mornings, and I am fortunate enough to have a Mother in Law who LOVES to take pictures. Each week is something new, a new toy, a new treasure found from the discard pile in his Uncle's bedroom, a new story or snuggle. I love Mondays, for I love my pictures, and I love that my son is fortunate enough to spend at least one day a week in his grandparents house being snuggled & spoiled.

Grapes!!

2010-11-15T12:13:00.001-05:00

I have never really been a grape fan, because they usually go bad before I can eat them all and I think they require to much work. (I know right?!)

What grapes I do like have always been green. Before now I have been a strict green grape girl!

In an effort to become more of a clean eater I have been trying more fruits and veggies, and with that both Black and Purple grapes. Where have you been all my life? I love how juicy they are, and they are HUGE!! (That"s what she said!) Seriously we have having a great Grape season right now, and we have gone through 2 bags in a week and a half. Yumm!

Mama, I love breakfast!!

2010-11-08T10:14:00.001-05:00

Does this look like an "I'm up to somethin" face to anyone else?!

Boy oh Boy!

Weight Loss Wednesday

2010-11-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

196.4. (Total loss 18.4). Needless to say I think I am hitting a plateau or I really stink at eating. I'm thinking it's the latter. Either way my total weight loss for October was...drum roll please... 1.2 lbs. Umm, Wha?!

So, I like food. And I usually like all of the foods I shouldn't. Halloween Candy? Yes please. Chocolate? Yes Please. Pizza? YEP! I like all the greasy, fatty, crap food goodness and sometimes it is so hard for me to say no. I am trying to take a breather and just get back to the basics. Trying to remember that even if I am eating granola in the morning, too much granola can still be counter-productive. I think a lot of people, especially Women need that reminder, or refresher rather to get back to what works for them. At least I do. I really would like to stay on goal and get to 180 by Christmas, but more importantly just stay on track.

I am still working out anywhere from 4-6 days a week, sticking with running and adding in some strength training. I really like BodyPump, which is a Les Mills program that is weights/strength training that is set to music. We have a great instructor at the gym and she really gets it moving. I also started Tabata training this week, which is a very high intensity cardio workout, with weights. I recruited 3 girls, and have even got 2 of them to join the gym with me. Having a workout buddy is always a plus!

I had a check up with my Dr. this morning, and much to my surprise, I have hypothyroidism. Basically, my thyroid is a slacker! What the heck Thyroid!!! So I will be trying out some medication to find a balance for me, and trying to get it going again. I will re-check in again in 3 months. Fingers crossed this might help with my journey as well! But, guess who had a "normal" Blood pressure reading today?! THIS GIRL! That's right, for the first time in almost 2 years, my BP was back down to normal! YAY! While I am frustrated that my weight is not moving as quickly as I would like it too, this makes all the exercise worth it.

I am heading into November with some new goals for myself, head held high and knowing that I CAN do it!!

The race re-cap I didn't want to write..

2010-11-02T15:30:00.001-04:00

Now this post, I have been putting off, for oh 2 weeks or so.

October 23rd was my second 5k, it was a fundraiser for our Junior Achievement program here in MI. This is a cause that has been around for quite some time, is heavily involved with my place of work, and really tries to do a GREAT job for the community and kids. My dad used to be a JA teacher back in the day, and really used to a do a lot for the cause. The events were always so fun. So when I started working with a business that was community partners with them, I jumped at the chance to participate. I have done their different bowling adventures for the past 3 winters, but this was my first 5k.

The day started out bleak and dreary, with a side of sprinkles and rain. Fun. It was windy and cold and there were about a bazillion people crammed in one pavilion to try and stay out of the cold/wet. They had costume characters, food, face painting and Zumba Warm-ups!! Their flier also said something about massages but all I seen was one dude with a funny looking chair. Um No thanks!

I was really excited for the warm-ups but they were crammed inside and the costume characters were really getting into it, doing the dance moves and keeping up. One was dressed up as a gigantic cup from Quiznos, and he [she?!] did a great job!! But it didn't make for great participation so we sat that one out. Next they had the kids mile which was really only about a quarter of a mile. It was cute and all the kids tried so hard. But after my two little cousins signed up and lined up to start, we started noticing other kids just jumping in. Now, I know the event was about the kids, and we always want to encourage participation, but the bottom line is to generate funds for a great cause. And it is so frustrating to see people taking advantage because they know no one is going to say anything. The kids already got free food and free take home pumpkins, so that totally rubbed me the wrong way.

Next up was the adults. I was just repeating in my head, over and over, pace yourself. pace yourself. pace yourself. Next thiing I know I hear "Ready, set..." And I reached for my Ipod to get it started and turn on my Garmin (My new toy! LOVE!) Well, as I turned on my Garmin, I knocked into my ipod and paused it (only I didnt know that I paused it) . "GO!" So I try to start running, get out of the way and figure out what is going on with my jams. They are supposed to be motivating me! Encouraging me! Enlightening me! Nada.

So remember that part where I mentioned the crappy weather?! I had gloves on. Which means the Ipod wasn't recognizing my urgent pressing fingers. So while I am getting passed by runners, walkers, kids and strollers I have no tunes and am totally flustered. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, and I should of just let it go, but it totally changed my focus. I finally took my gloves off and got my ipod going, but while I was getting back around my arm, I swung my other arm forward and caught the cord and ripped the headphones off my head causing them to swing between my legs. I'm telling you, I can't make this stuff up. Oh my goodness!

I [FINALLY] finally get all my ducks in a row and realize I am already at the water station. Only I didn't need any because I was carrying a water bottle [got that now?! Gloves, water bottle, Ipod and Garmin. I was a mess] but it helped me get back on track. Only I was out of breath. And cold. and rained on. I just proceeded to run/ walk the entire rest of the race and came in at 42:18. Over 2 minutes worse than last time, but I finished. I will take that as a success in itself, because I really, REALLY wanted to quit. I knew it was going to be a wash so I just figured I might as well go get warm, but I figured I paid for it I might as well finish it.

I guess you win some, you lose some and it really just gives me something to work on and look forward to in the next race. Next time I know, maybe to wait until after the bottleneck to get my music going and just take in the crowd. Pace myself. Enjoy the event. BIG PICTURE, which is that I am running races, and loving it. I am exercising, and 3 months ago I couldn't say either fact about myself.

Next Race; 23 days!!

18 months & 111

2010-11-01T21:21:00.000-04:00

This is my post number 111, and I have been thinking about it for WEEKS. I wanted it to be moving, and Epic. Why is 111 important, because Dawson was 1lb 11 when he was born. 1year and 6 months ago. How can it have been that long?! So naturally, post 111 is all about him!!

Our little D-man is getting so big, and so Handsome! He is 19.6lbs and 29 1/2 inches tall. Our tall and skinny string bean boy. But man, he eats and eats and eats. He is still on mostly purees since he has some texture issues (just like his mama) but we are getting there. He is really trying to chew and eat table foods, but sometimes its just to hard to chew and get gets impatient. Then he gags and will refuse table food for that meal. It is something OT will be working with him on over the next few months. He hasn't really gained any these past few months, but the Dr. is not concerned. He is a mover and a shaker and they really want to continue forward with his developmental progress, so we are focusing on that.

Dawson is still getting physical and Visual Therapy services. Just trying to get that boy the confidence to walk, but it is just around the corner...I can feel it! Speaking of VT, his last appointment went well. The left eye remains unchanged and they are going to continue to monitor over the next 6 months. We will be seeing a Dr. every 3 months, but it will rotate. We are scheduled to see the Optho around Christmas. They are playing with the idea of doing a Cornea Transplant with the right eye because the scarring is so bad. The success rate is not very high in infants, so it will be something to discuss over time, but the pressures in the right eye are unstable, so it might be something we discuss sooner rather than later. We shall see.

He really is developing a personality each and every day, and he is so silly. He loves laughing and has learned how to "fake laugh" which usually makes him laugh for real. He can say MaMa, Dada, Gaga, Baba etc etc. He loves climbing and looking out any window he can, and cruises along the furniture. He has also learned how to bang and slap things to get a noise out and he loves it!

He is just learning how to ride on things and even tries walking behind some of them. First he could only go backwards, but he is getting the hang of it now, and loves zooming all around!! This was a gift from our friend Turo, and we love it! Thanks Turo!!

Halloween was a little dramatic in our house! Dawson was a...

PENGUIN!!! And a little grouchy one at that... Oh well, he would rather play with his toys, and thats okay with us!

Mama dressed up this year to pass out candy, and I went as Alphaba [a glammed up version] from Wicked.

And my whole family on Halloween. Neither boy is enthused. I have a feeling I am always going to have to beg to get them to humor me into decorating and dressing up. I can't help it. I love all things Holidays!!

[even my hat was sick of Halloween LOL]

So, thats whats going on with our boy. Every day feels like it is speeding past, faster than the one before. He is becoming such a toddler and getting a little mind of his own. I cannot wait to see what he has in store for us, Bring on the Holiday Season!!

Ode to the Monster

2010-10-12T22:24:00.001-04:00

The Green Monster that is! I have been whipping these up in my Magic Bullet after my workouts, and I cannot get enough!

1 full banana - I like mine frozen
1 large handful [2 cups-ish] Spinach. Yep. I even buy the bag kind.
1 1/4 c. Vanilla Almond Milk
Splash of Flax Oil [Omega 3s, optional]
1 Scoop Vanilla Protein powder. [optional]

Blend well. Add Ice. Blend well, again.
I swear, you cannot taste the spinach. All you can taste is Vanilla Bananas. And it is so, so good.
Would I ever lead you wrong?! NO!

Need a name...REVISED

2010-10-12T09:59:00.001-04:00

I would really like to re-name my blog...something easier to repeat and type that is catchy and well....me! Any suggestions?!

ETA: What do you think of Gimme3miles.blogspot.com? It is a play on Gimme 3 Steps and also since I started with 3 miles as my first race...Its all I came up with so far =P

Also---hang tight, I have Dawson's eye appt results drafted up and ready to go, we are just waiting on the pics!

Race Recap-10/09/10

2010-10-10T22:09:00.002-04:00

Friday night I spent all night puttering around, keeping myself busy, and trying not to think about the fact of needing to get up in the morning and bust out 3 miles. I went grocery shopping and tail-gated for my high schools homecoming game. I even walked Dawson down to the parade, that he slept through. That kid, I swear! I finally fell out about 11p.

My alarm went off at 6:30 and I swear to God I jumped 5 feet in the air and was across my room and down the stairs in 5 seconds flat. I already had the adrenaline kick in at 6a. What was I going to do until race time. R and I got up and around and were out the door by 7. A personal record, not to be shadowed by the fact that I had laid all my stuff out the night before like I used to do before the first day of school. (True story, I used to LOVE school)

I went and picked up my packet and then took D to the in-laws for breakfast. R and D were going to stay with FIL, while I ran and then meet me at the finish line. Finally at 8:15a, I left to walk to the starting line.

So excited! Whoop! "Whoa! I have a bib!"

Bib# 572 baby!

Cousin was kind enough to come down and take pics and just be there for overall support, and she was with me no more than 30 seconds and knew I was just nervous. I had energy running though every limb and ounce of my body, and I just was antsy. She was great about keeping my spirits up, reminding me of my goals and why I was out there. Of course the committee was running about 10 mins behind so we did a lot of waiting.

Finally, the airhorn went off and I burst in to tears. Haha. I had planned it so my ipod was ready to start the minute the horn went off. I just was so filled with accomplishment already that I over-flowed. Seeing her there cheering for me, and taking my picture and hearing my song playing was just to much. I started out way to fast (which I was warned about) and was struggling so hard to keep a straight face and go forward, I knew I was wasting energy. I had to work on keeping myself on pace.

This is blurry, but the back of my shirt says "We Need a Cure"

About 3 minutes into it, we were coming up to the backside of my in-laws street and there is this dude standing there. He had on jeans and a hoodie, hat and sunglasses and had a camera. All he was doing was standing, watching the runners and waiting it out. I seriously remember thinking "dude, creeper!!" And then he picked up his camera and took my picture. It was R! HAH! Somehow I not only forgot what he was wearing, but I was so into what I was doing, I didn't even realize it was my husband. Whoopsie daisy!

I could already feel my lungs burning not even half a mile into it, and I knew I was pushing to hard. I wasn't going to make it, so I spent the rest of the race gambling with myself. Okay make it to that sign and you can walk. Okay at that drive-way we are running again. I was bummed at having to walk some, I was hoping I would be able to get through the whole thing and I felt like I walked more than I usually have to in practice. And then I got to the 1 mile mark and looked at my watch; 12.33. WHAT?! Trust me when I say I am usually a 15:00 pluser here people. I think I have blogged before that my best time was 47 minutes and change, so my goal for the race was 45 mins. Mile 2 I was still only at 27 minutes. That last mile was work though, my legs were burning and it was heating up, I knew I should have ditched my under-armor when the guys told me too. Ah well. The next thing I know, there is the 3 mile sign and I picked up pace a little bit.

I loved how they had the race set up, it was scenic and beautiful and I knew the WHOLE route like the back of my hand. Cake. But they had us turning a corner at like 3.02 miles or something, so seeing that finish line and those flags was so moving. And then I heard my FIL yelling and the clapping and my cousin whoop-whooping and I took off like a bat outta H-E-double hockey sticks. I wanted to be done but I could see that clock at it was only at 39 and change. Granted a very late change. but still 39!!

There was this lady in front of me that passed me about the 3rd mile and she was doing so well. But I felt so bad for her because as soon as I seen that clock I TOOK off and ran around her, just wanting to beat her. Whoops. Competitive much?! LOL I might as well just elbowed her out of the way for as fast as I was moving around her.

You can see the lady I blazed by on the right here.

So happy, with myself and to be done!

I crossed at somewhere between 40:55 and 41 mins. I took 6 minutes off of my personal best and over 4 minutes off my goal. Like, I said I was bummed I had to walk but that just gives me something to work on and for know I am just enjoying my time. 41 WHOOP WHOOP!

Next Race....13 days!

2 more days!

2010-10-07T21:45:00.001-04:00

I had a rough run today, followed by a lackluster night of Zumba. Oh goody, way to go out with a bang.

On my lunch I wanted to get in 25 mins of straight run time, and I just could not get there. I couldn't catch my breath and my whole body was sore. It just is really getting me down on the whole running thing. I feel like I am not getting any better and am going to totally flop this race this weekend. My lovely attitude carried over to Zumba tonight and while I was able to get some great stretching in, thats about it. I just could.not.get.there. GRR I hate those days.

Thankfully, I am a blogger. I am really getting into some Health & Fitness blogs, as well as dabbling in some clean eating blogs. Like always, my H&F (as well as an amazing peptalk from a co-worker) was able to lift my spirits a little tonight.

Stephanie heard this at spin tonight...

"It doesn't matter who has higher resistance. It doesn't matter who spins the fastest. It doesn't matter who has the fanciest gear. What matters is who has the heart to keep doing it."

Steph followed with "SO TRUE! SO VERY TRUE. Outside of spin, it just relates to everything, particularly fitness related goals. It doesn't matter if it takes you 2 years to lose 20 pounds when your friend lost it in a month. It doesn't matter if it takes you two hours to run a 5k when that speed-demon neighbor did it in 20 minutes. What matters is if we each keep going and tugging along at our own pace."

But for real, is that not a great kick in the pants or what? In the end, we will have all ran 3.1 miles, and who cares if I took 45 minutes to do it, other than me.

I am running Saturday FOR ME. And well, because Cancer Sucks!

Off to make my playlist!

**PS. I would like to add, that since June 24th I have ran 80.74 miles. Oh-Flippen-YEAH! That in itself, is making me a little pumped. I love it!!

Weight Loss Wednesday

2010-10-06T10:46:00.002-04:00

197.6. (Total Loss 17.2lbs)

Race day is 3 days away. We start at 9am, and I am really hoping to run it in less than 45mins. My best time in practice was 47mins, so I just need my adrenaline to help me shave off 2 measly minutes. I of course, am also hoping to be able to run the whole thing. I have decided that if I can do that, Sunday I am getting a mani & pedi =) That is great motivation. You know, on top of the whole running a 5k thing.

I am taking a rest night tonight, and have a mini run tomorrow. Rest/Tail gate party for my High School's Homecoming on Friday and then off to the race on Saturday!! I have got to get my play list all ready to go, and it will definitely include this;

Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life

What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe-By the Sick Puppies. I am loving it, to me it is encouraging and motivating and has a good beat. It reminds me of the Biggest Loser theme song a little bit, and what better to keep my butt moving than Jillian Michaels?! My Health and Fitness forum was discussing motivation yesterday (This is a VERY big weekend for a lot of runners) and some great quotes came out;

"Faint, puke, die or Keep Walking" -Jillian, season 10. A great reminder that your BODY will do what it can, and will tell you when it can't. Other than that, it is all mental.

"Why CHOOSE Failure, when SUCCESS is an option? -Jillian, Losing it with Jillian season 1. Quitting is always a choice. You never regret the exercises/runs that you do, you almost always regret the ones that you don't!!

I am all about the motivation this week, so give it to me Readers!! And a huge Whoop Whoop and GOOD LUCK to all of the 10-10-10 Marathon Runners! You got this!

Happy boy!

2010-10-04T15:36:00.001-04:00

Slide time!

2010-09-28T13:35:00.002-04:00

Peek-a-boo! I see you!!

I think he likes it!!

I cried this morning

2010-09-27T13:32:00.008-04:00

Dawson had his 6 month review meeting with out early on teacher today. And short of walking, standing independently and eating table food he has met all of his goals for the last year!! In the last 6 months our boy has;
-Started eating baby food (goal was 1/2 jar at each meal, he now eats 2 jars+ cereal or grains)
-Will pick up finger foods and put to mouth (and chews them, but no swallowing)
-Learned to army crawl and then even on to hands/knees crawling
-Crusing the furniture
-Pushing to sit from belly
-Pulling to stand
-Started babbling, and is now "talking". No "real" worlds yet, but lots of naa nah, lalas etc etc. I even got a La-ma this morning, while looking at me. We are so close to mama I can feel it!!
-Blows raspberries, plays with tongue and goes "num num" while moving mouth like chewing.

So this is all great news right?! So why did I cry?! Because his PT had a few recommendations for Dawson as far as purging his baby toys and getting big boy toys. WAHHH! Including trucks or big cars he can push while moving.

An Art easel, because they will work on coloring in the next "school" year.

and KIDS TABLE AND CHAIRS. Oh.Mah.Gah. that was when the tears started, and she hugged me. I think I took her by surprise, but I couldn't help it!
From this;

To this!!

And now these!!

I think Santa will be getting this set for Dawson this Christmas from Ikea. Didn't you know Santa shops Ikea?!

Dawson did already get one present this year, one like this from Grandma. Its not as bright and doesnt have the basketball part, just the stairs slide and tunnel. Either way he loves it and is starting to get the hang of the climbing, but watch out because he flies down that slide! No fear in that boy!

One more. This is my big boys "ham face". It seems that he now knows then he is the center of attention, (and when he isn't which is rare...)and he has taken to throwing his head back and cheesing it up!!

We have an eye check on Wednesday. Prayers for a good exam, with full pictures of whats going on in there. And as always, Prayers for healing!

Oh hi! Good to see you again, listen I gotta run, but we will chat later ok?!

2010-09-20T08:53:00.002-04:00

It's like junior year all over again, and my blog is the freshman pizza face in my Biology class. I have been avoiding you. Well not you, persae, but my blog. I don't want to post because I don't want to admit that I fell. Hard.

Looking back, the 3 month mark is pretty typical for me. I have my old WW journals, and the closer I get to the end of the session, the honeymoon period wears off, the weight budges harder and I fall of the wagon. What ends up being a one night Burger King binge turns into a week(s) long free for all. And that has been what I have been dealing with.

I suddenly am struggling saying no to the drive-thrus, chocolate and soda. I haven't weighed in since AUGUST 27th, and have been hiding ever since. My bestie being home for the last month hasn't helped with all of the rum, girl's nights, rum and pizza. Oh and rum. I felt like my time with her was so limited I had to live it up while I could. Sadly, she is leaving for post on Wednesday. And while this breaks my heart, at least my waistline will be happy.

But here is what's different, I am owning it! I FELL! I FELL! And now, I am getting back up. I am sticking with my goal of 180 by Christmas, and now I may have to work a little bit harder, but I am going to get there. I need to diary again, and my BB is letting me know. Oh and my first 5k is in a little over 2 weeks. YIKES! Thankfully I have been running still, and while not well, I am still doing it at least.

Stephanie said it best this week. Life happened, and for me Life in terms of my weight is still a struggle, so it's learning to change the negative into a positive. a very healthy positive. I will weigh in on Wednesday, when I am not wearing Jeans to work. =P

What?! I got an award!!

2010-08-31T10:49:00.004-04:00

My very first blogger award ever! I am tickled! My girl Tara over at Many Sleepless Nights thinks that my blog has substance other than just some random crap! Can you believe it? And here I was thinking all I was writing about was the stuff rattling around in my noggin in-between the cob-webs.

Like all bloggie awards, this one has rules.
1-Thank the giver!
**Tara- Thank you so much! First and foremost, a huge thank you for being a long-time reader (she has been with me from the get-go!!) and having faith in my little dude, and always motivating me forward!! You are always positive and your journey has helped in my own! Second, thanks for my first award ::blushes::

2-Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation & experience using 5 words..
Yikes, this one is hard! I am throwing the 5 word rule out the window.
**Honesty
**I blog because I know how important the blogs I follow are to me! Especially the weight loss blogs, seeing some of these girls press on every week is such a HUGE motivator! We are never alone!
**Prematurity and the life that comes with it. I am trying to debunk that 24week safety net, spread hope and educate. Differences are never a problem, something wrong, or something to be scared of!
**Random things that make me smile, mostly my boy

3-Pass it on to 10 other blogs that you know have real substance!
**Every Day Matters
**Jenny
**Tear and Mend
**When Hello Means Goodbye
**The Andersons
**Journey 2 Baby Peek
**Ruby Family
**Mama Laughlin
**Jen's little space
**And as always, I love me some Blair

Thanks again for reading, and for all the positive vibes whether they were prematurity or weight related. I LOVE and APPRECIATE my readers and all of the awesome support I have seen from the beginning. You guys are awesome!

Mcfatty Monday-8/30

2010-08-30T23:17:00.006-04:00

I have changed my weigh-in days from Monday to Friday. It is just what works for me, I guess I indulge a little to much over the weekend and Sunday's are our typical "family dinner days". Call me vain, but I need to see the numbers!! I will still try and remember to post on Mondays though.

(Friday, 8/27/10 196.3lbs ~ Total loss 17.7lbs)

This bloggie-friends, is my bestie. my bff. my homeslice. my girl. LOL
We have been friends for 16 years (oh.mah.gah.) and been through the mud and back. This girl, this girl knows me better than most (short of dh and the parentals...and maybe even more than them) and loves me anyway. She did a very selfless thing and enlisted last November and has been gone for 5 MONTHS! I haven't been away from her that long since I was 9. For serious. Last week she came home for a month long visit between basic/AIT and reporting to her actual post. One month of crazy, giggly, gilmore-girls filled evenings. I love this girl to pieces!!

Whoops, this is Mcfatty Monday, not pour-your-heart-out-to-the-internets Monday. This was Friday night, for her coming-home party. I am not to sure why I chose this picture, but I feel like I can see so much change in myself here. My jaw and cheeks are defined, I don't look puffy. For the first time in a long time, I like this picture of me.

Last week, I also completed 2 5ks. Granted, they were just practice and both took me over 45mins, but I still finished. There is a park near my house that is trails that are all mapped out and such, and my cousin and I have been running the 5k trail. We hit the woods again tomorrow.I also got on the dreadmill yesterday and ran over 6mins before I looked down and realized that I had gone over the time limit on my run interval and was able to walk now...thats quite an accomplishment for me. Usually I am counting down the entire last minute in my head...45...44...43...

Still struggling a bit with the calorie counting, but again it is still only on days that I am working out, so I am taking it that my body is trying to tell me something and trying not to beat myself up over it.

Anyone out there still reading this? Why quotes help move you? What keeps you going? Or who?

Yum corn!

2010-08-20T08:46:00.001-04:00

Dawson still isn't so crazy about expanding his palette to table foods just yet (he has texture issues, which he gets from his mama whoops!) But he is getting more curious about the crazy things we are eating. He can't wait to gwt his hands on everything and check it out!

IMG00066-20100819-1105.jpg

2010-08-19T14:38:00.001-04:00

ABR hearing test! This measures your brain stem's response to tones through the ears, in different pitches and volumes. 100% PASS! Wahoo!

Wordless Wednesday!

2010-08-18T15:19:00.001-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-18T15:14:00.001-04:00

Mcfatty Monday 8/16/10

2010-08-17T10:54:00.003-04:00

Sorry guys, I goofed! I saved yesterdays post as a draft instead of publishing it! Whoopsies! This on top of last week's MIA post, man I am on a roll downhill aren't I?!

Things are going well here in the mitten, I still struggle with keepig in my calorie range for the day ( I LOVE to snack) but I have been keeping up with the work outs about 5 days a week. This is really helping.

I also ordered a Heart-Rate monitor (Polar FT4) online and have been wearing it to the gym. I have been under-estimating myself! Which is always nice to see, turns out I burn about 500calories per workout. YES! Anyway, to the photo's- Please excuse my horrible hair, it has been in the 90's with two-thousand percent humidity here the last few weeks.

Dawson and I at a family reunion on Sunday.

And the 3 of us...Not a great picture of me, but I love Dawson's smile!

Weigh in 8/16- 199.6!! (Total loss to date-15.2)
I'm really starting to be able to see the difference in my face, chin and neck! I have a neck! YAY! I also had to dig out my 14's this weekend =D

I have also committed to some new goals. I would like to be in the 180's by Christmas. 19lbs to go!

I have also signed up for 2 5k's in October, the first is Cruisin for a Cure (benefit's the Relay for Life/ACS in my hometown) and is on October 9th. The second is Junior Acheivement's Halloween 5K on October 23rd. I don't think I will run in costume but have toyed with the idea of running in a TuTu to match one of the thousand pairs of funky socks I have!

Keep moving forward...

McFatty Monday- 08/02/10

2010-08-02T10:34:00.000-04:00

August 2nd- 201.8 with clothes [work scale] 198 without (which I did at home, not at work)but the work one with clothes is the one that matters. A little pat on my own back though? That dress is a size 12 and I bought it for a wedding in 2006. My fake-Spanx are WORKING it today. I got the new Assets knockoffs (made by the creator of Spanx, without the $40 price tag) from Target for $18. I love them! I also need to find a better photo system that works for me. This one is 100% frightening. Boo.

I am so happy with my progress thus far. I am proud of myself for sticking with it! I went running on Saturday after our family golf outing, and it was my first time on the track and playing around with speed intervals. Usually I try to pay mind to my pace so that I can last through my whole C25k program, but with the track it is a little easier to track I thought. I did lots of, what I call Balls out-classy, I know- running Saturday night. I would get to a certain line and run as fast and hard as I could. I did a few of those intervals and I tried some stadiums on the smaller set of bleachers. Man am I uncoordinated. The entire time I was afraid of biffing it, this does not make for a great stadium session. Oh well, I will try it again.

I also tried Spinning again for the first time in about 3-4 years on Sunday. Man, my ass is killing me. Who decided those seats were a good idea? but it was a good workout, the instructor was nice, motivating and strong. She was a great leader. I will be trying that one again as well.

Zumba tonight!! YAY!

I am still counting all of my calories using my Crackberry, I use the FatSecret app. for the most part I make good decisions, but I still slip sometimes. I also struggle getting in all of my fruits and veggies in a day. Gotta work on that one. Thats my goal for August. MORE FRUITS. MORE VEGGIES. MORE FRUITS! MORE VEGGIES!

McFatty...Friday! Whoops!

2010-07-30T08:30:00.000-04:00

So this week, I was naughty. Except, I have done it more than once. If I weigh in on a Monday and do not like the number, I will always weigh in again on Friday. Vain I know, and I know it is not about the number, but when my work pays by the % each quarter and today is quarter end...you better believe I weighed again.

First Weigh-in Post Vacation....

7/26/10 205.0. I will do the math for you. I gained 5.2lbs on vacation. WHOOPS! I did run...twice, which was short of my goal (4 times). But I think the rum did me in. Either that or the smores. Or maybe the fudge. Oh well we had a great time, with beautiful weather. More pictures to come!

And 4 days, 2 hard core workouts and 4 days of intense calorie tracking later...

202.6 (a loss of 2.4) Now if only I could keep that pace all week long. I hope to be back under 200 again by next week's weigh in, but today is a celebration day at work and we have a family golf outing tomorrow, so it will definitely be a challenge. Let's do this!

12mos...adjusted

2010-07-16T19:30:00.000-04:00

Dawson is quickly approaching his 12month adjusted age date (July 26th) and this boy has had a GREAT week.

He had appointments every night this week...I would like to brag...er share with you.

Monday- Physical Therapy- Early on.
Beth is very impressed with his progress now that he is crawling and pulling himself to stand. He will even take a few, wobbly, steps if you hold his hands. He is very curious and is into EVERYTHING. But he gets so excited to explore and find new things, he is just so fun to play with. They couldn't believe he has come so far so fast. Just a few months ago, he was still a bit behind, but not anymore!!

Tuesday- Visual Therapy- Early on.
This appointment was a little sad, as it was Sue's last visit before retirement. We LOVE her! She is so great to work with. She too, very impressed with Dawson's quick improvements. He met all of his goals for this summer, eating baby food and less formula (ahem...THREE jars per meal!!) He is on his way into getting whole milk instead of formula, I'll appreciate that money back each month!! They feel he is really getting better at utilizing the vision he has, and is reaching and tracking for things. He is making due with his differences and making the necessary adjustments to get around them.

Wednesday- Physical Therapy- Sparrow Hospital
Dawson had his monthly evaluation, which is where they test him on formation and movements, stretches, muscle tone, you name it, they watch it. Dawson was in the 26th percentile for his adjusted age. He met all of his goals for 12month and is cruising ahead since he is already trying to walk. They actually want to drop his visits from once/week to once/month since he is doing so well and getting early on. They did an amazing job working with him, and I am certain we would not have caught up this fast without them.

We are going to look into some Occupational Therapy to work more with his small motor skills as he ages, but that will probably be with Early on.

Thursday- Ophthalmologist- Dr. Rao.
We actually made the decision to start seeing a different Optho. in the same office. We loved him! He was so nice, answered all of our questions and was able to get a good look at D without having to use the torture chamber. He sees a lot of improvement in his Left eye, it is not continuing to move more shallow. Vision is good, near-sightedness is fading and he is really starting to test and expand his visual range. They still cannot see into the right as it continues to heal from his last surgery, but they want to look again in about 2months, under anesthesia. This was such GREAT news.

Tonight we have a dinner with family in honor of our Great Grandmother (D's great-great Grandmother) who we lost this past week. She passed in her sleep after giving her family 101 AMAZING years. We know that she is in Heaven watching over us, and celebrating being with our other family members gone to soon. She already is and will continue to be terribly missed, We Love you Grandma Florida.

And tomorrow....VACATION!! I haven't quite mastered blogging from my phone yet, but I do know how to send photos from my phone to my blog, so expect some pics!!

Even though we are struggling with a loss this week, We are really praising God this week for answering our prayers and working miracles in our little dude. God is So GOOD!

199.8

2010-07-16T09:30:00.000-04:00

Siyanara 200s, I'm outta here!! Don't let the door hit ya...

July 16th 199.8 (15lbs down...even)

I am so excited to have met my first goal (under 200 by vacation) and it is so nice to see that hard work payoff! I am not expecting a loss on vacation though honestly. I have packed lots of healthy snacks (and my running gear), but I know that smores will be roasted, Twisted Tea will be drank and fun will be had of all sorts, so my goal for next week is to stay level.

Oh, and can I also say that I CRUSHED Week 3 Day 1 on my C25k yesterday. I completed all of the intervals without having to stop early, and someone could have warned me the run time was going to double this week!! Of course, I forgot my sensor yesterday, but me knowing that I CAN DO IT is enough for me.

This Friday rocks my socks!!

Tuesday!

2010-07-13T09:42:00.001-04:00

Happy Tuesday!!

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

McFatty Monday

2010-07-12T12:48:00.001-04:00

I have been a long-time reader of BLAIR, and quite sometime ago, she started McFatty Monday. It basically one long train of bloggers that hop on the wagon and move forward, creating a healthier lifestyle for themselves and their families. A few posts ago, I mentioned changing my blog a bit. I'm hopping on McFatty Monday.

I wouldn't say that I have always struggled with my weight, because even though I "thought" I was fat in high school, I wasn't. I was a size 9/10 and I hated it. But you see, I pack a little, scratch that a LOT of junk in my trunk. I do not pack light. And I am top-heavy/busy/chesty/whatever PC term you prefer to use. So when you add the front and the back into the equation, my middle just tries to keep up.

I can't really remember the weights I have been at, but I remember sizes so I am going to go with that. When I graduated high-school, I got my first desk-job 3 months later ( I was LUCKY) and I was about a size 10/11ish. 3 years later, I had done WW 3 or 4 times, but my wedding dress was a size 12. One year after that, we went on a group cruise, I was a size 14. We had already been TTC for about 4 month then. I gained more weight TTC, then I did actually being pregnant (thank you morning sickness!). When I went back to work after D came home, I was a size 16.

I got back on the WW wagon, but you see, WW does not work for me. I always start off good, but sooner or later my entire journal is Smart Ones or 100 calorie packs and I have had nothing but processed foods all day long. I finally had had enough, and went to see my family Dr. in May. I hadn't been in about, ohh 5 years or so and we started with a physical.

I was 5'6" and 214lbs. Technically I am Obese. Or possibly worse that, but I am not sure because I got so mad at myself I quit listening. And my Blood Pressure was still high. My Dr., bless that women, was a kick in the pants. I am not healthy AND my BP is high. I have a kid. How am I supposed to lead by example, when I don't even set a good one?!

She wanted me to go off WW, and just focus on calorie counting, and amping up my Fruits and Veggies. I also admit, with her APPROVAL I take Alli, which is a weight-loss supplement. Or booster. Whatever you want to call it, it helps flush the fats that I eat out of my system. It gives me gas, but in case you are wondering, no I have never shit my pants. Which is the #1 rumor about this product. I love it, if you have any questions, please do NOT hesitate to ask!!

For now, my number one focus is bringing my BP down. Dr. said I was not in a place to be medicated....yet. I have 6 months to FOCUS, and bring it down on my own. With diet and exercise I am trying. Currently, I track all of my intake ON MY PHONE! I love it! I use fatsecret.com's mobile app. I also weigh in once a week at a weigh station at work, using their incentahealth program (they pay you to get healthy, or stay healthy!! But keep in mind, most of the time I will be using those photos as "before/after" photos. And it's Monday morning. And I haven't eaten yet. These will NOT be the best photos I have ever taken!)

I also have signed up for my first 5k. Let me follow that up by saying, I am not a runner. Never have been, but I am trying the Couch25k program, and so far, I like it! I look forward to running, and am doing that every other day. I also take both Step and Zumba classes.

I still fall off the wagon, I still hate my body, and I am still learning, but my motivation is 100 times stronger now. I need to do it for D, because I want to see him grow up and be happy, and I want to do it unmedicated.

I usually weigh in every Monday, so I am going to try and keep up with McFatty Monday, but I am not weighing in this week until Friday (right before vacation, with a goal of 200lbs or less) so I will catch you up with last weeks weigh in.

June 9 2010 -205.4 lbs. (9.4 lbs lost)

The one where mama goes a leeeetle bit crazy.

2010-07-07T14:12:00.000-04:00

So R and I are doing okay, coming to terms with having a Visually Impaired child. He has not changed in person, only in diagnosis. We love him the same, he makes us smile the same, and oh, that kid is CUUUUUTE. But having a special needs child, makes you hate everyone else just a little bit more.

Scene 1-
We are at an amusement park with family, sans child for a day in the sun. A guy walks by talking to everyone, and has the whole line crackin up. He is just one of those guys that is nice and talking to everyone about how nervous he is about getting on this specific water ride. He has a lisp. Big whoop. But, our family member mumbles something under his breath about it.
(((Side note: if you know him IRL Please don't say anything. This is not meant to make him feel bad or anything, it was not a mean comment, but a comment none the less. It was not hurtful, and this family member is not a jerk, but he is young and CRAZY about D. But he is still adjusting, just as we are, to how special D is, and what that means.)))
But I couldn't help it. I ripped into him. Not really mean, but I made it clear that I would not tolerate anyone's differences being mocked in front of me. And in swooped in my DH. He really ripped into him. He pointed out that our child has a difference and we would never want anyone talking about him, or mocking him. And that was the first time I think I have heard R step up about it, but it was like second instinct for us. We just couldn't help but say something.

Scene 2-
Out in public and we are being watched. By someone of an older generation who does not know us. To break the silence, he asks "What is wrong with his eye?"

Oh.Emm.Gee. You know that moment in the movies where you see the kids throw a rock at a baby bear, and you just know it's about to get ugly. I'm pretty sure I looked like that. Now because I know better, I sucked in a deep breath and educated this man. ::pause scene::

But I really wanted to gouge his eyes out. There is nothing "WRONG". Dawson has nothing WRONG with him. He is different, and you know what? He is SMART. When his difference gets in his way, he makes the adjustment. He will tip his head, move, reach whatever he feels he needs to do to understand what is going on. ::Beams:: He makes me proud. He makes me understand. He makes me compassionate. But sweet Jesus he makes me defensive.

Back to scene 2-
So after I was nice, and informative and polite do you know what this MORON says to me...."Well, can HE be fixed?"

Again, I was polite. I said "He will have glasses" and I walked away because that was ALL I could muster. Because what I really wanted to say was "No you assclown, because he is NOT BROKEN."

Oh and another thing. My child is not a freak of nature. He does not sleep-play, or sleep-crawl, or sleep-chew. Have you ever seen a kid fall asleep and CONTINUE chewing on toys, continue talking at the same decibel, or continue moving?! I think not. Just because his eye is closed, doesn't mean he is asleep. Nor is he overly medicated (yes, someone actually asked that) I appreciate you calling him cute, but stop commenting on his eyes in the check-out line/dog food aisle/gas station/whatever.

I realize that I will constantly be fighting for him, and will be over-sensitive about it which is not fair to the general population for just being curious. But what happened to tact? I would never say "whats wrong with...." I don't get it.

I hate that other people make me nervous to have him out in public or put up pictures at my desk, because I am sick of the RUDE questions. I don't want anyone looking at him any different than they would any other child.

Having a child with a difference automatically makes you an advocate for their quality of life, well-being, and acceptance. Forgive my rant, for now. I promise with time, I will relax. I hope.

What ROP means for Dawson

2010-06-25T22:00:00.000-04:00

This is a nugget of information I took from Ropard.org. It was written by Camille (via her mama), a now-6 year old overcoming severe ROP and Glaucoma. I have just speaking with her mom, Jen and am excited at what an amazing resource she has become already, and shes nice to boot. I have modified it to apply to Dawson since he is quite a bit younger than she is. But the similarites are AMAZING.

What can I see and how is my vision different from everyone else’s?

This is the question that drives my parents nuts (well this among many =), and they won’t know for sure what I can see until I can tell them! Cover a cardboard toilet paper tube with Saran Wrap and smear that with Vaseline and look through it while covering your left eye. Thats the best way we can describe it.
They can make some pretty good guesses, though:

I can see enough, I know when someone/something is in front of me. I know that my Momma and Daddy look like.

Because I bring objects up close to my face, my best detail vision is probably up close. Please don’t discourage this, even if it is the (in the future) TV. It is how I adapt.

I may tilt my head differently to look at things, and this is okay. It is how I make up for patches or blind spots in my vision.

My vision may fluctuate throughout the day, and may get worse with fatigue.

It takes longer for me to adapt to changes in lighting than most people, and I may sometimes be more sensitive to bright lights.

When I am looking at you, it looks like I am looking off to the side, or sometimes my vision will wander. I am adapting to make the most of my vision.

I seem to be able to see large objects at somewhat of a distance and smaller objects within about three to six feet. It’s hard to tell if I see things, or if I just have a good memory about where things are.

I love to look at pictures in books, but it is best if they are bright and simple; visual clutter is often hard for my eyes to sort out.

I can see your facial expressions if I am within about 1-2 feet of your face.

Will I ever be able to get more of my vision back?

{Camille} We don’t know. My doctor’s team in Detroit {Ha! That is Beaumont! We are so lucky to have them so close to us. Miss Camille has to travel over 15 hours to see the same Retinal team we do} is working hard on research to grow new retinas and also on research to implant chips into the retina to allow vision.

Even if these things don’t work out, I can live a fulfilling and successful life. There are many things to help me be independent, and I have a ton of potential. My family, my friends, and you can help me to realize that.

{Adding for Dawson} While I can still see objects, I explore most things by touch taste and sound. Thats okay. Let me do it. But, I may be overwhelmed when I am exposed to a lot of sound, speech or new things all at once. It does not mean I am a fussy baby, it means I am over-stimulated. Give me a few minutes to nap or regroup and I can be as good as new.

I get scared easy. I cannot see things coming or know where everyone/everything is. It is easy for things to sneak up on me. Please talk me through any changes or new things as I grow.

Most of all, be patient with me, and with my mama. =)
{Sara} Sometimes I dont always like to talk about what is going on with Dawson. It is how I am coping for now. He is such a special little boy and is growing so fast, that sometimes we pretend everything is just as fine as I say it is. Because to us, it is. We do not know any different other than the hand we have been dealt and we are soo soo lucky to have the medical team that we do have, right here in our home state. Sometimes I get sad about some of the obstacles I know Dawson has ahead of him. (Will he drive, will he date, marry, work? etc etc) but for the most part, we are all trying to understand.

Because of these simialarities, I have gotten a lot of information in a very short period of time that will help me understand what to expect as Dawson grows. I am so very thankful for that, even though I know it may change or just be different.

The one where I use Paint Diagrams

2010-06-22T21:24:00.001-04:00

Please trust me when I say this is not a post requesting pity, this is a post requesting understanding and providing you with lots of information.

Dawson is doing well, continuing to learn and grow, develop and understand. He weighs in at about 17ish lbs and is 28inches long. He wears 12m clothes and size 3 diapers. He is still on step 2 baby foods, as he is not crazy about the texture of "people food" yet. He army crawls, has excellent hand skills (turns toys over, and over, and over) sits unassisted, stands, does downward dog (you think I'm kidding?) dances, and laughs and smilles. He is starting to talk and babble, although he doesn't say any actual words yet. He is doing great! He still gets PT once a week at Sparrow, and now gets both visual and physical therepy services through early on. He had tubes placed in his ears a few weeks ago and seems to be doing well. We had a check up with the ENT yesterday and the tubes are healing nicely, but Mr D. STILL cannot pass a hearing test. It is basically this test where they sit him in a room and talk through some speakers/ make noises through speakers. They want him to look in the direction the noise is coming from. He won't. Not even a little. He will make sounds back but the head is still. Which = fail. So we are headed to Sparrow in the next few weeks to be sedated so they can measure the brain waves in reaction to noise. However, we may be able to explain why...

We recently found out Dawson is "visually impaired".
At least thats what his Dr. Called him last week. I'm having some difficulty swallowing the reality. Visually impaired. Impaired.

But, he is not blind. Let me explain.

This my friends, is a very pooly drawn human eye.

That is what healthy, normal eyes look like.

This is what Dawson's right eye...DID look like.

Basically, what we thought was a membrane growing in the cornea ( I don't know if I have wrote about this before, I haven't really wanted to talk about it much.) They found that in the healing process, both his lens and iris had begun migrating into the cornea, which they call "shallowness" or "shallowing of the cornea".

Now, it looks like this.

(The dark red is blood, that will eventually dissolve) They went in and removed his lens along with some eye jelly (that resides in between the lens and the retina) and had hopes of being able to place a contact lens on the eye in the future. The contact lens would then hopefully be able to pick up the tasks that the lens would usually perform. You cannot tell that it is missing, he just is VERY sensitive to light, and without the lens, cannot see other than lights and colors. Also, this eye tends to migrate inward because it is not performing any basic function for now. This was done in early May. They had hope of us returning in 4 weeks to a healing right eye and a perfectly healthy left eye (as it had been all along)

Well now, the left eye looks like this...

The iris and lens have started moving and the cornea is becoming shallow. Oh goody. The retinal specialist had hopes of there being some divine intervention with the opthamologist to avoid surgery but today (over the phone) the optho. is hesitant. He feels that waiting could pose a threat to the cornea and since we already know the eye is capable on losing all of its depth, its to risky. I am really struggling coming to terms with this, because it would pretty much mean no chance at any un-assisted normal vision. I am still hanging on to the hope that one day there will be some magical surgery that he can have that will cure his poor eyeballs, and viola! No glasses. Intead, he is probably going to end up with a very thick set of specs. Repeat.after.me.Oh Joy.

We go see the optho tomorrow to get the official word, and game plan. In the meantime, I hope to see you all out here more frequently. Blogging is an outlet for me, one that I need. But sometimes, I hate talking about the bad stuff. But the good stuff seems so fake, unrealistic for me. Like we are waiting for that shoe. I hate it.

I am hoping to move this blog a little though, if you do not mind. I need to take this in 2 ways. I am going to A- Make it more about me. The mama. I myself am facing my own personal journey. One that I would like to document. I will be shy, embarrased, laying it alllll out there. I hope I do not lose readers because of it, but I need it for me in the present, and I want it for me in the future.

B- I am going to be using this as awareness. ROP Awareness. And I am starting by leaving you, with this. ROPARD.org.

Happy Birthday Dawson

2010-04-07T17:30:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Miracle Boy!! Thank you so much for fighting so hard for us, and for picking us as your mommy and daddy. We love you too much, you are our sunshine, our only sunshine and you make us so happy. Your giggle makes us smile and warms our hearts, and we are forever blessed for having you as our boy.

April 7th, 2009

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

January

February

March

Happy Birthday Big Boy!! We Love you, Forever!

Birthday weekend and Easter {Pic Heavy}

2010-04-06T23:32:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Dawson's first birthday with a Rubber Ducky themed party on Saturday. IT was a great turn out, with lots {And I mean LOTS} of food, family and friends! There were so many people that came out to celebrate and it was nice to see everyone and really get to enjoy sharing our boy with all of the people who have been supporting him all along. Some of my favorite Pics...

We then celebrated Dawson's SECOND Easter on Sunday with the family. He did a great job and despite not getting a nap all day, he was a real trooper and shared lots of giggles. He was rather spoiled, taking home 3 BASKETS. He is so loved.

Looking forward to celebrating Dawson's ONE YEAR birthday tomorrow. We have his well-child, then lunch and a visit with friends/co-workers, some shopping, Physical Therepy and then PIZZA with Grandma and Grandpa. After that, we are going to pack up the car and drive for about an hour and a half to have a sleepover with cousin Isabell. Then, it's up and attem for our FIRST CALIFORNIA VACATION!! We are leaving Thursday for 10 days to visit my parents in SoCal. First plane ride and Go West! visit, and we are SO EXCITED!

Thanks again for everyone's prayers, support, celebrations, understanding and loyalty over the last year. We could not have made it this far without you!!!!

16 Days to go...

2010-03-22T11:21:00.000-04:00

I apologize for the speed in which my blog has dwindled, but I have been raging my own war with my to-do list and personality. With Dawson’s impending birthday coming up in the next couple weeks, I feel as if I am strugggling more with my emotions and keeping things under control. Looking at my son and watching him smile, laugh and giggle, I am so elated and reminded about just how good God is. He truly is a miracle baby, constantly conquering the challenges that we just cannot seem to get past. Consistantly complimented on how easy-going and even-tempered he is, he rarely fusses and is so happy all of the time. When Dawson meets new people, he is always met with the same reaction. Surprise and worry about his size compared to age. Watery eyes and disbelief when they hear the “tip-of-the-iceberg” story that has almost become our mantra. And then jubilation when they realize just how amazing he is. He is a heart-stealer and the ladies don’t even see it coming =)

But here is how prematurity gets you. It almost-never goes away, and if affects your entire family. It has stamped my son with a slew of tests and therapies, dr. appointments, and health struggles. Not to mention the threat of permanent vision impairments. And we have been LUCKY. I try not to get to down about this battle and be reminded that things could have been much worse, but I cannot help sliding as I pack him up for yet another day of being poked and pushed to his limits. I catch myself wishing months away just so that we can finally go one month without having to go to the pediatricion. It’s pretty bad when we see the receptionist out to eat and she know us by name.

And me, well I am holding on for him. I am realizing that the closer we get to his birthday, the easier it is for me to slip back into my own mind and replay the events of that day. I feel like everything went so fast and I was pushed forward so quick that as a preemie mom, I wasn't able even really get ahold of myself or surroundings. Even more so with a first pregnancy we go into the whole process naievly believing after 24 weeks everything will be fine, just fine. But the rollercoaster road ahead of us, just creates so many demons of
--self-loathing (What did I do, how did I fail…),
--envy (missing out on so many pregnany milestones and becoming envious of other mothers and their bond. NICU life also creates a lot of boundaries in the breastfeeding experience, something I had my heart set on doing)
--and constant worry (did that kid just sneeze within 20 feet of Dawson…ensue panic)
I just feel selfish for not being able to get control of my own thoughts and emotions, and I have become so resentful and bitter because MY family had to be put through this. It just brings on this constant negativity of Why him? Why us?

I have made an appointment to begin speaking with someone come mid-April. For someone who knows me IRL, negativity is not something I like or welcome, so for it to be so easy for me to slip into it is just unsettling. On the somewhat-bright side, I have talked with other preemie parents and these feelings are not-uncommon. So at least I am not a total whack-job and know there will be light at the end of this journey. I look forward to talking to someone and getting a hold of my panic and negative emotions. I don’t like having this constant negativity cloud my thoughts and mind, when I would rather be with the brightest ray of sunshine I have, my boy!

Melts.My.Heart

2010-03-02T14:40:00.000-05:00

Grandpa time!

Blogging for Babies

2010-01-23T23:36:00.000-05:00

As I have blogged before, I am the very proud Captain to Team TNT; Tiny N Tough in this years March for Babies. However, I have yet to make my monetary contribution, because I wanted it to be something that relayed my passion for this cause, and in the name of all of the babies I know who were taken to soon. This epidemic is earth shattering to so many families, including families that I know, and many moms I have grown to love.

So I have decided to graciously steal another blogger's idea; and Blog for Babies. For every comment I get in response to this post, I will donate $1 to the March of Dimes. Furthermore, my place of employment offers a 2:1 match for donations made to this organization, so this could be BIG. My goal is to get 100 comments, and I need your help.

I am asking you to comment back on this post and help me reach my goal, and Fight for each and every miracle, so that one day, another family will never have to write a blog like mine.

How you choose to comment is up to you, but I would LOVE to honor other miracles on my page as well, not just Dawson. So if you are commenting in memory or honor of another miracle and are comfortable doing so, please comment with their name and I will add them to my Team Page's scroll. If you are commenting on behalf of My Miracle please let me know, I love to see Dawson's #1 fans who have been with us for 9 months now.

Thank you for considering joining me in this fight; for it means so much.

Developmental Assesment Clinic

2010-01-04T21:26:00.000-05:00

When a baby is born premature and graduates from the NICU, they are given follow up instructions to be seen by the DAC; Developmental Assessment Clinic. This is done at around 6 months Adjusted. (Adjusted age = Age that a baby would be HAD they been born on their due date) We had our appointment today, and I am going to post his updates to coincide with his 9month birthday which is Thursday. ( 9mos...HOLY $&*%!!)

During the appointment you see a Fellow from the unit, a nurse, a physical therapist, and audiologist (however for us this is in a different office) and usually either a Neonatologist or a Psychologist. The last 2 (whichever one shows) admister the Denver## test, which is a review of Language, Social, Gross Motor and Fine Motor skills and determine where the baby is at for their age.

-Gross Motor/Fine Motor Skills- This is the category that I was TERRIFIED of being reviewed on today. Merely 1 month ago, we had a follow up appt with our PT from the NICU. She did an overall review and determined that even though Dawson was almost 5 months old, developmentally he was at about 3.5 mos. She recommended PT every week. So my MIL has been taking Dawson faithfully every Wednesday to the "baby gym" to "work out" (exercise ball and all! Go Big D!) Well, I am sooooo sooo proud to say that today, Dawson was showing signs of being in the 5 month/early 6 month stage. He was being a total ham and standing up, rolling over, lifting his head you name it, he nailed it! My big guy! And here is my plug for the Lansing mamas- for real..Sparrow Peds services= AMAZING!

They are recommending that we start seeing our Early On teacher once a week instead of once a month, just so we can move forward in catching him up to his ACTUAL age, not adjusted. We need to close that gap around his 2nd birthday.

-Language/Social- Again, Dawson thrived today. While we have no idea what he said, he told that Psycologist his entire life story (which is a long one, as you can see he gets his chatting skills from his mama!) He laughed, cooed, babbled, smiled and then squealed. And then screamed and fell asleep!

-Hearing- Dawson was not having any part of this examination. He allowed them to stick the monitor in and blow the puff of air in the ear canal (this measures ear drum movement) and then that was that. He was done and there would be no more testing on his poor ears. So we have to go back in 2 weeks for a follow up, but the drum movement was good and reaction to sounds was EXCELLENT in his motor skills eval so they are not concerned.

-Vision- Blah. My baby is an Auditory baby 100%. They feel that Dawson's vision is actually poor in both eyes, and his right eye is very cloudy, and the left eye has a very small pupil, which they could not get to dilate with light. He does follow things but usually reacts to a sound more than a sight. He will not focus on a face or object, so at this point we are back to square 1, and cannot really tell what, if at all, Dawson can see. We are being referred BACK OUT to another pediatric Ophthalmologist (either at U of M or Beaumont) that specializes in ROP/Visual Impairments/Special needs. They want to do this as soon as possible, because they feel that we are already losing some of the vision that Dawson may have or have had.

They do feel that his vision impairment is affecting his physical development, because some of the developments that he needs to pass his assessment/therapy's, need sight. So they are referring us to a Visual Therapist/counselor within Early on, hopefully bi-weekly, but at least once a month.

This is where my emotions take over. I am going to back up a bit and go back to Sept. when we were discharged from Dawson's retinal specialist. When the specialist decided that there was not a surgical intervention she could do, we were referred out to see an Ophthalmologist/Optometrist. And to be frank, I don't remember which because at the time, I didn't realize there was a difference. So I found one (optometrist) in our network and made an appt. The appt. went well, he was very kind and said that they would continue to work with our retinal specialist should he see a need, but thought we could work with Dawson's vision and glasses would not be needed. Turns out, this is all not correct. The Fellow today was very concerned with this diagnosis and felt that we should NOT have seen an optometrist, and that with Dawson's ROP needs, this "Dr." should have referred us out immediately when he found out that D's disease was not something he was familiar with. So not only does it tick me off that I was not made aware of the specific specialization that would be needed to treat D, I am mad that the Optometrist told me he could handle D's stage of disease and he really can't. He is technically not even licensed to treat it because he is not a Pediatric Ophthalmologist. But it also makes me mad at myself for not knowing the difference. When they explained that to me today my heart just sank thinking that I could have put Dawson's vision at stake for being un-educated about his situation. It still makes me upset. So now I just have to wait for all the referrals to come in so we can move forward. Hopefully, if not by the end of the week, then early next.

Overall, it went okay. His eczema is getting worse, and they gave me some natural ways to treat that more frequently (Moisturize, Moisturize, Moisturize)and they also wanted an X-ray of his chest because it appears he has a cosmetic abnormality on one side (the heart side...oh goody) but his heart tones sound great and they are not worried, it would only be cosmetic (hopefully, we shall see what the X-ray says).

So for now, we rejoice in his developmental leaps, and worry about what vision developments may arise. We shall see.

As far as his 9 month stats, he weighed 13.5lbs with clothes on. I, like always cannot remember his length but I will get it on the 13th when we see the pedi for his well-child. Head circum looks great. Dawson is eating 3oz formula/3oz BM every 4 hours and currently sleeps through the (or most) nights. He is wearing 6month (3-6mo) clothing which is right on target with his AA. We also were given the go-agead to start mom and tot swimming at the Y, so I am super excited to see how Dawson likes the pool!!

My family on Christmas Day.

Dawson says it's his turn next for presents! He of course, was spoiled rotten!

Reindeer feet!

Catching one of his first laughs on camera. He is so funny when he laughs!

Dawson and I, the day after Christmas. Santa brought him this in his stocking and he LOVES this teether.

Playing with a new stuffed animal yesterday, this dolphin in longer than he is but when we sat him on it he was bouncing around like he was ready for a ride. This pic. makes me think he may like seafood hah!!

Dawson; the newest member of the Sophie Fan club (And Please be assured, this picture was soley a photo op, we do not leave Dawson on the counter, ever)
Dawson "riding" on his dolphin last night. Ryan was bouncing him and he had me cracking up, so I thought I would share!! You can actually see in this though how he favors 1 eye over the other.

Thoughts and Prayers needed

2009-12-06T11:46:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Readers,
Today I am reaching out to my awesome readers, not for myself but for a cyber-friend. I just read on one of the many forums I read, that another mom delivered her daughter last night at 24 weeks 3 days, Same as Dawson was when he was born. I am asking that if prayer is your thing, please pray for baby "J", ask that the Lord protect her and help her fight. Pray that the Dr's and nurses stay focused and do all they can to keep this little girl strong.

If prayer is not your thing that's okay, just please keep this family in your thoughts.

We are praying for you GC and family!

Dawson = Mr Curious

2009-12-04T22:33:00.000-05:00

In the last few weeks D has become much more aware, alert and curious about EVERYTHING. Sometimes his little head just starts wobbling and he has to lay it down he gets movin so fast. He is so curious about everything, and just looks around all of the time. More recently, he LOVES the Christmas tree. If that thing is plugged in D goes into what we call "the zombie stare". It doesn't matter if you stick your face right in front of Dawson's eyeballs, you cannot get his focus away from that thing.

See what I mean? He just sits and stares at it.

He is also so much more content sitting up and playing on the couch or toys, he is getting away from wanting to be held 24/7 THANK GOODNESS! Don't get me wrong, I love to snuggle as much as the next guy, but my house and dogs need some TLC!

Hehe not quite the playing I meant, but daddy tried LOL. I am surprised though, surprised that D made it home almost 4 months before Ryan tried this. I thought for sure this would have happened within 2 weeks :D

The month of November

2009-11-30T21:54:00.001-05:00

Quite a few nights I have sat down to write this post, and each time I wasn't ready to give it the effort I felt November deserved. November brought a lot of events for us. Nov. 17th was prematurity awareness day. Nov. 20th was one year since we discovered we were expecting. Of course, Thanksgiving, which both reminds us of how blessed we truly are, and all we have to be thankful for. but it also brings a sense of sadness and a string of memories that take me back 1 year ago...

Nov. 20th, 2008. I didn't quite believe the first one, or two, or three tests. We had been praying for you Dawson for a little over 6 mos, even though so few knew we were trying. I immediately started crying and called Ryan, who didn't believe it either. I had all these visions in my head about how I would be patient and wait until we got home from work so I could tell him in person, but I couldn't do it! We were so excited. Thanksgiving 2008 was one week later, and by the end of that day the whole family knew. That day everyone began sharing in the excitement, and making their guesses as to your gender. I felt all along you would be a boy, even though everyone else was so sure you were a girl! All of the women even went through and did the Chinese gender charts to confirm their accuracy, with a 100% success rate in our family. But my charts said girl...I broke the statistic =)

Christmas 2008 (Ignore Ryan's doofy expression please!) We opened our first gift for you Dawson...Huggies!!=) We were already so excited knowing that you were with us! I bought Ryan a onsie to open that says "My dad is cooler than your dad" and we just kept talking about how different Christmas 2009 would be with a 5 month old.
The winter came and went, and while the snow came down, my blood pressure went up up and up. The dr.'s kept telling me there was nothing to worry about, but now I cannot get those numbers out of my head and wondering "what if".

Then, after what felt like a million years, March arrived and our 20 week milestone came with it, and we finally got to have our ultrasound. And it confirmed what mom always knew...there was a little something between those legs!

Even then you were tiny Dawson, but the Dr's did not share their concerns with mama. But mama did as she always does, and I couldn't help but google. And I figured out all on my own you were on the small side. At my next appointment, I asked and asked and Dr. Zink confirmed what I already knew. My blood pressure was getting to high to fast, and you were to small for your age. They wanted to start seeing mom every 2 weeks. I was nervous, but they assured me it would be fine. One week later I was back for my checkup, and we seen a different Dr., Dr. Ferrick. She seemed unconcerned about my blood pressure, and explained that she felt a "High BP" diagnosis was unnecessary.
2 weeks later, I landed myself in L&D with ankles the size of 2 liter bottles and BP that was through the roof. After 2 hours of monitoring, They felt everything was okay and sent me home. 1 Week later I was seen again by Dr. F, who still felt that my BP was nothing to worry about, and that my anxiety and the other Ob's concerns were unwarranted. That appt was March 31st.

7 days later, "inexplicably" Dawson arrived. That day was filled with so much pain, fear, worry, so many tears were shed and I couldn't get a hold of my emotions. Our firstborn was amazing, and beautiful, with arms the size of my index finger and so much strength already. He fought so hard for us. This little peanut of a boy chose us, and was fighting for us. To this day, his courage amazes me and brings me strength. The next 3 months were the hardest fight any of us ever experienced. Ryan and I fought to stay positive and faithful, and Dawson was so determined to make it home with us. He is truly an amazing, strong willed little boy.

We have come out of this experience stronger individuals, and more importantly, a stronger family. We are so thankful to have been blessed with such an amazing son, and a God who has protected him and helped him fight the most important fight of his life. This year we are Thankful for so much, and while we are grateful, we will never quite forget the path and sacrifices that brought us here. We will never forget the support that surrounded us, the prayers that were murmured all over the world for our Dawson. There are days where I still feel as if I will be swallowed by my sadness and the fear that is still very real for me. I fear that my son will never see things the way we do, or run the length of a football/soccer/baseball field. I fear that we may see the inner walls of a hospital much to soon, as flu season has begun. I worry that my little boy will be teased for whatever setback his prematurity may have left on his little body, for unfortunately this is a disease that he may, or may not grow out of. As of now, he is a feisty little fighter, who brightens my day every morning, and makes me appreciate the smallest of coos and hugs and snuggles. He is my life, the very center of my world. WE are so thankful.

( I will have more Thanksgiving day photos later, for I felt this post needed to come first. )

And while I was one of the few that did not post this on Nov. 17th, I am going to add a little plug in here. Prematurity is very real, and far to common. Half a million babies each year are born too soon, devastating families all over the world. I have showed you what prematurity means to me, but each story is different. Please help us in the fight against prematurity, be a hero for the tiniest of babies. Please visit www.marchofdimes.com to see how you can help. MI READERS- April 24, 2010 is the Capital City March for Babies. Please contact me if you are interested in joining Dawson's fight with Team TNT...Tiny N Tough!

And to my readers, I am back!

2009-11-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

Wow, 2.5 months since my last post. Where has the time gone, in fact that seems to be our motto statement of this year! I cannot seem to believe that our little boy is 7 months old already, or that Christmas is just around the corner. Time flys by so fast when all you want to do is slow it down.

Well our little guy is growing so big, he weighed in at 10lbs yesterday. I could hardly believe it! He is also doing really well, even though we are officially battling our first set of germs this week. He has his first double ear infection and cold. Poor little guy. We have moved on to 3month size clothing, and even into size 1 diapers. I thought we were never going to get out of newborns!!

Dawson still eats around the clock (in case you couldn't tell) with the exception of the 9 (or so) hour stretch that he sleeps at night. He is up to about 4oz or so at each feeding. We have also started Dawson on formula now. He is still getting frozen BM at each feeding, but we are slowly moving over. We have been able to keep his reflux under control with the prevacid, and he is doing well.

We had an eye exam today, and they think his vision was preserved with his last surgery. The left eye is doing very well and they expect full range of vision on that side, while the right eye does still have the fold. They do believe he will be able to keep his peripheral vision, but tunnel will be lost. At this point they do not believe that will cause any sort of handicap, however only time will tell.

At our 3mos adjusted, 7mos actual Dawson is able to hold his head up, even for long periods of time. Smile when stimulated. Coo. He likes to play with the rings, or anything he can stick in his mouth. We finally found a paci that works, Mams. He has also found both his fist and thumb, but has a preference for the fist. Still HATES tummy time, however mom has rediscovered her love for it as it promptly sends him into a deep sleep =].

All and all, we are doing wonderful. Life is truly blessed with our little man home. We could not be happier. Dawson coming into our lives taught us so much and blessed us abundantly, and for that we are thankful. Praise the Lord, for He truly works miracles.

7months actual, 3.5 months adjusted. 10lbs!

First night of cereal. Loved holding the spoon, hated cereal. That has been tucked away until next month.

First smile...or one of the first

Halloween morning

None to impressed with the pumpkin!

Halloween night!

With Ms. Sarah, his Day nurse from the word...He's here!

3 weeks later

2009-09-06T11:48:00.000-04:00

Well Mr. Dawson has been home for 3 weeks now, and even though they have been a whirlwind, we are doing very well. He is amazing, still eating every 3 hours (2-3 oz, like a champ) but struggling pretty bad with nursing. We have went to see a few LC's, and we are still working on it, but man no one tells you exactly HOW HARD breastfeeding is. Everyone wants you to think you/baby are hardwired for it and it just comes natural..well let me tell ya, LIES! ALL LIES! There is wrestling and arm-pinning, and tounge thrusting and spitting, oh my. Right now, this jury thinks breastfeeding stinks. But we are going to keep at it and keep supplementing and see if he can get the hang of things. He also sleeps GREAT at night, 3-4 hour stretches and we are finally getting him used to sleeping in his pack and play...for now. My goal is to have him in his crib in his own room by the time I go back to work in 5 weeks, so we shall see. We have had a ton of follow up appointments, and at his last checkup he weighed 6lbs 7oz. His eye appointments have also been good, we have only seen a consultant here in the area so far, but he says everything is healing well and he sees the reattachment that we were hoping for. Fingers crossed the surgeon says the same thing in a week or two. We are also going for a hearing exam later this week, since D failed his screening at the hospital. We are not to worried though, since he responds positively to sound, and passed his super-secret-backroom-hearing test at our home unit a week after discharge.

So all in all, we are faring well, only I wish I could say the same for the state of our house. What a mess! We have also had some bad luck in the vehicle department. My husband, super-crash-mcgee got in TWO accidents last week. Everyone was fine (at both) just a few fender benders, but we are currently in the process of fighting with FORD because we believe the second accident was caused by some sensor malfunction in the airbag system. All in all, Ryan was approaching a vehicle at the stop sign, going approx 6mph, and his airbags deployed at full speed. Both airbags. Well needless to say, it scared the crap outta him and he hit the gas instead of the break. CRASH. We shall see what happens.

Now for the important part. PICTURES!

Last night sleeping in the NICU!

All bundled up and ready to go...doesn't he look like a UPS man? What can BROWN do for you!

We do a lot of couch snuggling!

First bath...so peaceful ;-p

D loves snuggling in the towels!!

Dawson, Mama, Grandma, Great Grandma, Great Great Grandma

Snuggling with Uncle Chad

Always on the go, and yes, that outfit matched if you could see the front =)

Awake and wigglin

Playin the in monkey manor

D doesn't appreciate the benefits of tummy time.

I can never get him with his head up, but he is getting soo good at it!

Our generation

2009-08-23T17:41:00.001-04:00

I read this on another blog and had to snag it, it made me chuckle..

and yes, I am aware that I am totally slacking on the D updates, but really there is so much to write and I have not had a second yet =) Post and Pics to come, I promise!!

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-That's enough, Nickelback.
-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
-I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger..
- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies" <<< So true!!
-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood..
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
- I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories
- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
- There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste..
- When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

I am taking a vote.

2009-08-22T23:01:00.001-04:00

Today, while searching Etsy, I found this.

How.freaking.cute.is.that?!?! I really want to order one for D's first photo shoot, which will be happening the next few weeks (newborn/4mos/coming home pics)

The question is...is it toooo feminine?! Obviously I would be getting it in different colors, but is the style to girly?

Day 127

2009-08-14T08:46:00.000-04:00

Today, is Dawson's 127th day in the NICU. It is also Dawson's last day! =) That's right, when Ryan and I walk out of the NICU today, we will finally be leaving WITH a baby!! 4 hospitals, 4 long months and 4 surgeries later, our little guy is busting out and ready to come home. Ryan and I are so excited and honestly, a little terrified. The thought of having D at home is so amazing, but also the thought of having to care for him, just the 2 of us without our wonderful nurses and Dr.s is a little scary. Our

This moment is also a little bittersweet, because we are being sent straight home from Beaumont. And while I wouldn't change that for anything in the world, I am a little sad that we are not going to be able to walk out with those 4 amazing nurses, that took care of him for SOOO long. Those girls mean so much to my family, that I cannot ever thank them enough. There is a very special spot in our hearts for the nurses that kept our little man hanging on for so long, and helped him thrive in the end.

Our chubby boy is coming home at a whopping 5lbs 14oz, 5 times his original birth weight, and man does he know how to EAT! We are going to be in trouble when he becomes a teenager..shudder.

We will continue to follow up on Dawson's eye recovery at Beaumont, about once a week for the first few weeks. We also are getting to meet our pediatrician for the first time on Monday. Dawson will also have follow up appointments with the physical therapist, audiology (hearing) and development specialists, to make sure his is growing and developing according to his ADJUSTED (age based on due date) age, and catches up before kindergarten to his ACTUAL (age based on birthday) age. I am also very excited, because I am going to be able to take my delayed maternity leave, so I will be home spending precious time just D and I...for the next 8 weeks. Talk about a happy happy day!!

Thank you to everyone for the tremendous support through our journey in the NICU. We are looking forward to this very special homecoming, and the first time being together as a family in our home.

We are asking our loved ones to respect our wishes for privacy in the upcoming weekend as we transition to life with Dawson. Well wishes via phone, mail, and email are appreciated, but we will not be taking visitors in our home at this time. In the coming weeks, we are excited for all of our family to finally meet our little guy, but on our Dr.’s recommendation we are also asking our family members with young children to postpone their visit. Dawson is going to be going through a lot of changes in the next few weeks, including immunizations that will prepare him for all the loving he deserves!!

We appreciate your patience as Dawson and his new family take this private time to heal together. Updates will continue here on the blog... Stay tuned!

Someone has a BIG boy!!

2009-08-05T20:16:00.000-04:00

Well another 2 weeks have passed and again I do not know where to start. Dawson is getting rather chubby, topping out at a little over 5lbs 6oz, and moved into a BIG BOY CRIB!! Last week we did go through some swallow study research as well as looking into the reflux testing needed to move forward with Dawson's feedings. When our speech therapist came last week, she ordered those tests, and expressed her concerns with Dawson's feeding skills. He was still thrusting against the bottle, and fighting even half a feeding down. When they went through with the swallow study, we found that Dawson has been pooling the milk in the back of his throat, risking the chance for the milk to be taken into the lungs, causing pneumonia. So we reduced his bottle/breast feed opportunities and continued working on weaning the neocate out of his feeding schedule. Then Sunday rolled around and Dr. Ross came back to review the progress in Dawson's eyes, and monitor the scar tissue that had developed since surgery. She took a gander and felt that while things had not gotten worse, she felt that Dawson could benefit from a 2nd opinion from the specialists at Beaumont, and so she declared a transport...again...was necessary. So Sunday night, we were transferred down to Beaumont. Ryan and I followed the ambulance down and got Dawson settled in, and the Dr's took a look on Monday. They wanted to review further on Wednesday while Dawson was knocked out. After Dawson went under, the Dr. took a look and came out to discuss the plan of action. As it turns out, the forming scar tissue has caused detachment of both retnas, and while neither was totally removed, both would need surgery again. They went ahead and finished surgery in the right eye today, and will do the left on Friday. Things went well and Mr. Dawson woke right up, about an hour after the operation. He woke up mad as a hornet, and wanted that breathing tube right on our of there, and was on the hunt for food. They were able to start feeds again this afternoon, and while they started with a half a feeding, Dawson was not happy. So they upped it to a full feeding. And he was still not happy. So they gave him another half, and only then, was Dawson satisfied enough to settle back down. Also, MR. Dawson has come to the light, and finally figured out the Suck/Swallow/Breathe reflex. He has not received a feeding via the NG tube in over 36 hours, they have all been by bottle, all been sucessful, and down the hatch in less than 20 mins. No coughing fits, no gasping, no sat/heartrate drops, we are loving it!! We are hoping to move to the breast tomorrow. Fingers crossed. Some eye candy for your enjoyment =) Pirate baby! Wearing a patch over the eye, post-op for healing
Dawson after his post-op feeding extravaganza...turn it up!!

Complacent eyeballs

2009-07-22T10:58:00.000-04:00

Dr. Ross was able to come back today and check up on D. There are a couple of updates.

1-The ROP laser surgery was a...SUCCESS! The blood vessels that were placing pressures on the retna have "dissolved"! PRAISE GOD!
2-However, they have now left behind some scar tissue that currently is just laying there, but can end up placing pressure there if it does not dissolve as well. If this happens, we will have to be transported...yet again, to Beaumont Hospital for yet another surgery. So again, I am begging for prayers. Please pray for our little guy that this issue corrects itself.
3-There is also a little blood that is pooling under the lens so she is going to continue D's eyedrops a little longer.

On the other side, D is tolerating his feedings better and they are hoping to be up to full feeds by this weekend. Which means we will then be able to get rid of his IV's and start introducing breastmilk back into the picture. This of course, all rides on D's attitude and toleration (is that a word??) of the current feeding plan. D..Do you hear mama?!?! Get it together!! We want you at home!!

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayers, and we only ask that you keep praying, for healing, for strength, and for patience!

So Flustered...

2009-07-20T12:51:00.000-04:00

So as my due date nears, I have been getting a lot of questions in regards to when D is going to be able to come home....Well, not any time soon...here is a breif re-cap as to why.

At the end of April Dawson went for his PDA ligation, which was sucessful. When he retuned to our NICU, they immediatly tried to start feedings. They started with Continuous breastmilk and throughout May and June they were able to consistantly increase his feeds, add MCT oil and fortifier (calorie supplements) , switch to bolus (intermitten) . As of July 8th, we were up to Fortified BM24 Q3, and MCT oil 3x/day.

July 9th Dawson went in for ROP surgery, and was NPO starting at noon. July 10th, less than 12 hours post op...they tried to push 15ml of bm through his gavage. He promptly threw it all back up. They decided to make him NPO (No feedings...whatsoever) for the next 5 days, and monitor his belly via xray.

After his belly calmed back down, they started feeding him again on Neocate, pre-digested formula. Since then (7/13) it has been a constant battle, residuals at every feed, constantly increasing/decreasing his ml's and he just screams ALL.THE.TIME. On top of that, they have been replacing his IV's daily, which is about a 4 hour process because he has now blown so many veins.

So today, they found another loop in his belly and he is NPO again. They are going to check with an Xray around 1pm today, and may or may not re-start the neocate. I am just getting so mad that BM worked for almost 3mos with no problems, and then he puked ONCE and they dc'd that. Now neocate has been consistanly failing for almost 2 whole weeks, and yet they are still pushing it. I don't know what to do!!! Grr.

So I am a jumbled, pissed off mess. On top of hurting for my baby, My due date is Sunday, and it is really bringing out a lot of feelings and anger that I didn't know I had. I had to leave the hospital without a baby, and have had to every single day since. I am still angry and upset at the "loss" of my pregnancy. Do not get me wrong, I am very, very thankful that D is doing relativly well for a 24 weeker, and am so glad we were blessed with such a miracle, but I am still sad. I didn't get to carry him in my belly, and feel his kicks for longer than 2 weeks. I didn't get to shop for cute bump clothes, and instead of finding dresses that showed off my bump for my showers, I was looking for tops to hide my "pouch". I didn't get to hold, nuzzle, and feed my newborn, and I didn't get to change his diaper until he was over 1month old. So, to say the least..this week I am struggling to stay afloat.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-15T22:53:00.000-04:00

--Sleeping through his massage--

My time is MIA-7/13/09

2009-07-13T22:45:00.001-04:00

I cannot believe it has been a month since my last post...it feels like it has only been a few days. There has been so much going on lately, every time I set out to write an update, things change so quickly it no longer applies.

We are finally off all of the oxygen support, although we battled with the nasal cannula quite a bit. 4 days on...3 days off...5 days off, 7 days on. But D finally had enough and it has been MIA ever since.

I wish I could write that D was up to full 30ml/3 hours on his feedings, like he was last week. But last Wednesday that all came crashing down. We had been working with a speech therapist on developing his oral feedings almost 3 times a week. Then D's eye Dr. came in from Flint and declared that come Thursday, D was going to need Emergency laser surgery as he was suffering from stage 3 ROP.

Retinopathy of prematurity – commonly known as ROP - is a potentially blinding eye disease primarily affecting premature infants weighing less than 2 pounds, 12 ounces. The disease spurs the growth of abnormal blood vessels in the eye, vessels that leak fluid and blood, and scar the nerve tissue inside the eye. This increases the risk of retinal detachment and severe vision loss in these infants, most born more than two months prematurely.

The Dr. returned on Thursday and was able to perform the surgery, and suspects everything went well, however we will not know for sure if it worked until later this week. There is a strong suspicion that he will need glasses at some point in his life though. In order to perform the surgery, all feedings had to cease 6 hours prior and D had to be placed back on the breathing tube. He was not very happy with that and yanked that out first thing Sat. morning. They did try to start things up with feedings again on Friday...however D did not tolerate that very well. So they ceased all feedings for the weekend in hopes of letting his tummy rest.

The Dr. ordered that we could try again today, however they are starting at a measly 3ml/3 hours for now. And they are using Neocate, which is the most foul smelling, partially digested, disgusting formula powder you can imagine. YUK. They hope this will be more gentle on his tummy, but I cannot wait for him to go back to BM. Fortunately, because he is taking so little, I did get to give him his first bottle today, and he took it like a CHAMP. Hopefully, this means we are getting the hang of things and the next few weeks will be a breeze.

On that note, prior to surgery we had a couple of nursing sessions to get D familiar with the general layout and idea of what he was supposed to be doing when placed at breast. He did well, tuckers out easy, but no heart or desat episodes. As soon as the IV's are removed we will be trying again once a day.

As for now, D is up to 4lbs 1oz...and we are hoping for his departure home within the next 2-3 weeks, but now that is all up to him. It just depends on how well he tolerates eating and eventually, nippling on a bottle and nursing. Fingers crossed.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers, and ask for continued prayer for healing. We are getting there, slowly but surely, D is truly proof that miracles can happen. I will also TRY to blog more frequently, as I did in the beginning =)

Back when he was still in the cannula

Meeting Grandpa for the first time!

Look at those cheeks!!

Update- 6/08

2009-06-08T22:56:00.000-04:00

A long time coming, wouldn't you agree?

Dawson is doing very well, he was taken off of Cpap last Monday and has been thriving on the nasal cannula. He likes to hang out right between 21-25% oxygen, and .2 liters, which I have been led to believe is very low support. A whole new round of numbers and settings to get used it, but he is so happy to be rid of the scuba gear!

As of today his feedings have also increased to 6ml/hour, which works out to about 4.8 ounces a day. And, drum roll please...Dawson now weighs 2.8 ounces...we have a 2 and a half pound baby!! YAY!! His breast milk is still being fortified with 24 calorie supplements, and he get MCT oil 3x/day.

DH and I are now in charge of his daily cares, including baths every other day and diapers when we can. We are also able to hold him each time we visit, sometimes for an hour or more. I have also had a few rounds of sucessful kangaroo care sessions, which I LOVE. But something about Dawson being nekkid (well, just a diaper) causes him to be quite the wiggle worm, which sets off the alarm, so for now I just hold him whenever I can.

Wide awake during Kangaroo Care (back when he was on Cpap)

All tuckered out, and enjoying his cannula (Look at the difference from the last picture to this one, only about a weeks time)

Sleepy boy. Love Him!!

Oh you know..just chillen out!

Snug as a bug in a rug, cuddle time with mama!

Updates- 5/23

2009-05-23T17:05:00.001-04:00

We have made a lot of progress in the last few days! First, Dawson was moved BACK to the Cpap on Wednesday, after 3 days of being re-intubated. He basically took Sunday to rest and then was rarin to go and get back on his own. We have had a few Apnea/Desat episodes, but nothing they are to worried about, since he seems to be able to recover on his own.

We were also able to try Kangaroo Care on Thursday, but Dawson didn't really like it to much. He definitely does NOT like being out of his swaddle, and we couldn't get the Cpap in the right position so it wouldn't try to rip of his teeny nostrils. But we were able to hold him in the swaddle which he LOVED. We have each been able to hold him every day since, and even though it is a fiasco getting everything situated, Dawson just sleeps the entire time away. He loves being held, which we are happy to oblige to. I was also able to give him another bath today, and he screamed his face off the whole time LOL. I love the sound of his cry, and all the expressions he makes. My little drama king already!

Dawson is still on full feedings, 4.7ml/hour, and is now IV/PICC line free. They removed that on Thursday since they weren't using it and in order to prevent infection from it just "being there" they took it out. They have also added fortifier to his milk as well as an calorie/oil supplement in order to help him put on the weight. 2 days after he hit 2 lbs they gave him 2 rounds of Lasix (diuretic) so he lost a little bit. As of today he was still at 1lb 15 oz, so we are hoping with all the extra calories he is getting he will cross on over here shortly.

The most peaceful face, I just love watching him sleep. My precious baby boy.

(Also- there is a plastic piece that fits over his nose to allow the prongs to go in...making it look...how to say it...HUGE! LOL)

Back to the vent!

2009-05-18T22:22:00.000-04:00

Well Sunday we had a tiny setback, Dawson was placed back on the ventilator from the Cpap. He was struggling so hard, and was getting so tired! As soon as they moved him over though his stats came right back up and he fell right to sleep. He was whooped!

I was able to give Dawson his bath today, all by myself. Dawson did so good for mom, made the mad face a bit but really kept his stats stable, and hung in there for me. He was wide awake the whole time, munching away on his tube and "smiling" for Sarah and I.

Dawson is also tolerating his feedings very well, he is now up to full feedings at 4.5ml/hour which is about 3oz a day. He no longer needs the IV nutrition or fats (TPN or Lipids) He is tolerating them so well...that he actually tipped the scale OVER 2lbs TODAY!! My little boy is the newest member of the 2lb club, and it feels sooo good!! Such a great day seeing that come up. He is doing so well!

I met with Dr. Omar and Dawson is doing so well back on the vent that at this point if he extubates himself, they will just move right to Cpap again. If he doesn't, then they are planning to trial Cpap again within the next few days.

A few pics from today.

He ALWAYS has to have his hands by his face or behind his head.

Giving mom the "peeper" eye

Strawberry blonde boy...He always looks darker at the hospital and then I get the pics home and his hair looks a whole new color.

Conked out, but getting some mama/daddy lovin!

And on the 35th day

2009-05-12T21:50:00.000-04:00

Mama held you! Today was absolutely amazing, and that is not even the best means to describe the way I am feeling now. Dawson had been doing so well on the conventional vent, breathing over and oxygen levels at room air, that I asked about holding Dawson on Sat. They wanted me to hold off until Sunday, to ensure that his stats would stay as good as they had been. Then on Sunday when I called, they said that Dawson had been doing too good, they wanted to try out the Cpap starting Monday.

Well Monday came around, and they switched Dawson on over. He had a rough start, but then picked right up where he should have and put those lungs to work!!

Dawson says what the heck is this thing!! Doesn't it look like scuba gear!! This is his new fancy Cpap.

Yawning now that his mouth is sans breathing tube. We even got to hear him sneeze and squeak a little. No cries yet though...

We even got to check out Mr. Dawson without any equipment on. Because he is doing so well with his breathing...they were able to take off his tubes during his assessment.

Picking him up for pictures...Dawson is NOT enthused! So much personality already. We need to get some meat on those bones!! Which by the way, they have bumped him up to 2ml/hour, and he is tolerating it very well. No residuals!!

So Dr. Omar decided that if Dawson could keep his stats stable for 24 hours on the cpap, we could get him out to hold him. So today was day, on Dawson's 35th day of life, Ryan and I held him for the first time. It is so surreal, amazing, exciting, nerve wracking...all in one. I cannot wait to do it tomorrow!!

Mama holding you for the FIRST time!!

Dawson with Daddy

So as long as Dawson's stat stay stable, and he is tolerating the handling each day, this is something we can continue to do. As of now, I am going to get to try Kangaroo care (skin to skin contact) tomorrow afternoon, and holding him again tomorrow night.

Dawson's first "birthday" and My first Mother's day

2009-05-10T11:31:00.000-04:00

Well, Mr. Dawson turned 1 month old on Thursday, however mommy is slightly in denial. Where did that time go? How could it be a month already?

Thursday was a big day for us, I changed my first (but soooo far from my last) diaper...although finding his butt is a whole new task entirely! DH and I were also able to assist in his bath, and changing his linens. Dawson also got his first Tshirt! A little white top, but the nurse drew "MSU" on the front in green marker LOL. She was so nice. The Dr. also decided to start feedings again, however they are taking a new approach since we have been struggling with this. Instead of a few mls every so many hours, they are now doing .5mls consistently every hour. Dawson has been tolerating this much better. He is also having multiple BM's each day...I never thought I would be soo happy about poop haha.

They also moved Dawson back to the conventional ventilator! YES! The dr. was starting to worry that the oscillator was putting to much pressure on the kidneys. Dawson did very well with the move and has been slowly weaning down on his settings. As of this morning...17 bpm (breaths per minute, 15 is the lowest you can go I believe) and Dawson is breathing over the ventilator, all on his own. Such a positive step in the right direction!!

I also had my first baby shower! My Aunt, cousin, and one of my best friend's were kind enough to throw us such an awesome get-together. Food was excellent and the cake was even better ;-) We got tons of goodies, and had a good time just spending some girl time and enjoying the thought of being a mom instead of worrying so much. Thanks so much girls!!!

For my first mother's day, Dawson and Daddy got me a pedicure, which was fantastic, and just in time. Mommy needed that time to relax!

Mommy with Dawson's first birthday cake...funfetti! YUM!

My little peeper boy

MOM! No more pictures!!

The last 6 days

2009-05-05T22:12:00.000-04:00

Wednesday 4/29- I know I already discussed this in the past post...but I wanted to include this...Dawson's travel accommodations.

And...These are the meds! Each blue and gray box is a different medication my peanut was on starting Wednesday.

umm...Drugs are nice...LOL My poor knocked out guy...

And the Ronald McDonald house where Ryan and I stayed...

Thursday 4/30-I woke up around 9 and called the nurse to check in. She gave me the update and then wanted to update me on how the day would go being that Dawson was the 3rd case that day. I had the nurse clarify what that meant 3 TIMES, because I wanted to be sure I had heard her correctly. Dawson was being operated on today, and he would be the third PDA Ligation in the NICU. So Ryan and I busted around and headed into Holden. This was a surprise because they told us it was not likely they would operate until Sat. at LEAST. But we met with his surgeon (who was so nice) and she explained the procedure. They would be inserting a small titanium clip in to close the duct. It would scar and grow with Dawson as he gets big and strong. Surgery would last about an hour, and then an hour to get his linens and lines re-adjusted properly, and they would operate at the bedside by entering in between 2 of Dawson's ribs on the left side. No moving for Dawson. Ryan and I went into the waiting room and 45 mins later...ALL done! A little stitch and a little gauze and Dawson was sporting his fancy new chest tube (to allow for drainage for the first 48 hours)

Friday 5/1- Dawson was recovering well, low vent settings and excellent stats. He was on some Hydrocortizone (steroids) and some Blood pressure meds and insulin to adjust some of his levels, but nothing major. All was set to remove the chest tube on Sat. Morning for transport Sat. night.

Sat 5/2- I checked in with Kristine in the morning and confirm all was set to go for transport home! YAY! Sparrow was scheduled to come for the pick up (he was coming home via ambulance) around 7. Ryan and I went up to the hospital and just kindof hung around. Dawson was doing so good, really over achieving all the stats. Well 7pm goes by, then 7:30, then 8pm with still no word from Sparrow confirming they had left. And then just as Grandpa got in to visit, in rolls Sparrow. It took them about an hour and a half to get Dawson stable and in the transport gurney. Already not a fan of travel...

We got back to Sparrow around 11:30m and into the isolation room so they could confirm Dawson didn't catch any bugs or MRSA while in U of M.

(Whoa that is a lot of stuff for such a little guy! See the yellow blanket? There he is!)

Sunday 5/3-
Well Dawson decided that he was mad at nurse Sarah for sending him away, and he was paying her back alright. In the matter of hours, we blew a art line (IV in the artery) had another one placed and blew that one too. (We are up to 5 failed lines now...yay). He tanked his stats and wouldn't digest his food. Awesome kid, if there is one thing you have mastered, it is the temper tantrum! The other thing Dawson picked up on...is a major staple in our house!

Ugh...Dad?! Was that you? Because it stinks! LOL

Monday 5/4- Well Mr. Dawson, what can we say. Your temper tantrum raged into the evening hours and they decided to give you back your "washing machine" Dawson was placed back on the oscillator (which sounds like a washing machine...that runs constantly) which is not technically a step backwards, but the vent gives us less freedom...and prevents kangaroo care. Mommy has a sad =(

Each of these red numbers refers to how Dawson is reacting to the oxygen. and wouldn't you know, not even a half an hour after being placed back, Dawson's stats skyrocket back up to 100%. YAY! Mommy has a happy! I am still bummed about not being able to hold him any time soon...but whatever makes him happy and thriving I will take. Plus..He is now off all of the meds! YAY!!

Tuesday 5/5- Happy Cinco De Mayo-Dawson seems to think today is a good day too, as he is still thriving. He had to get another blood transfusion today, but his vent settings are set at an optimum rate, and he is doing good. His blood cultures came back today and we have confirmed that he is bug/MRSA free...YAY!! No more isolation, and no more gowns! (Ryan and I had to wear gowns in order to go in to see him) He was so active tonight, and had Ryan and I cracking up.

So we are hoping for a better couple of days, with some continued low settings on the vent and hoping to begin feedings again here soon. Where oh where has the time gone...my little boy is already almost a month old!! We have his birthday coming up on Thursday, I am going to take in some pictures of Ryan and I and the dogs to tape to his isolette so that he can see them when he opens his eyes (which is still rather infrequent). I also need to think of something else to take up there to celebrate!!

Thank you all for reading and keeping our little guy in your thoughts and prayers. It means soo much to us to have so many people pulling for our little guy to stay healthy and come home...soon!!

Settled- 4/29

2009-04-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

Well Ryan woke me up this morning wondering what plan we were going to go with. Since we were unsure about when Dawson would be transferred to U of M I told him to go ahead and go in, and I was going to go to work too. I was tired, cranky (stupid phone alarm didn't go off again so I missed TWO pumps...GrRRR I need to find a new system!) and stressed but trying not to think about it.

No sooner than I rolled into work my phone rang and I got to talk to Sarah. She asked if I could leave work because I would need to come to the hospital and do consent forms. Then I talked to Dr. Karna who told me to wait, They were going to transfer him today but didn't know what time. So I packed up my pumping stuff and went to the nursing room and called Sarah back. Her and I just both chatted a minuite reeling about how fast it all seemed to go downhill. He went from Stable on Monday to soo sick so fast. These roller coaster NICU days are just so hard, I wouldn't wish them on ANYONE. We made a plan that we would re-evaluate at my 1030 pump and decided that if I hadn't heard from her by then I was going to leave and just go spend time with Dawson.

About 15 mins later she called back. U of M had called and was planning on airlifting to come get him this morning. I left work (which by the way, is amazing. SO understanding!!) and headed over. I got a good 2 hours with him just holding his hand and talking to him.

They had to move him to a conventional vent for the transfer but he tolerated it so well, as well as the transfer. The transfer isolette kind of looks like a microwave stacked on a gourney, but it did the trick. Dawson is relatively settled. His levels are a bit worse than they were at Sparrow, but they are working on that. We should know tomorrow when his surgery is granting he passes all infection screens and remains stable.

We appreciate your continued support and prayers, please God grant us the strength to be there for our baby and place our faith that You have this in your hands. Lord please grant the NICU nurses and cardiovascular team the knowledge and wisdom they need to have a successful surgery and recovery. Lord please place your hands on Dawson and keep him strong and healthy, and bring him home to us soon. In Your name we pray, Amen.

**Also, I want to apologize because I know a lot of you are pacing the halls waiting for updates from us and the information us just not coming fast enough. Everything is at that point where it is so hard right now, and Ryan and I are so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and every bit of strength we can muster we are pouring into Dawson to let him know that we LOVE him and are strong for him. Please be patient with us as we know you are all waiting and while we appreciate your care and concern, we are just not able to relay the information as we are getting it, especially because at this point...nothing is definite. Please continue to pray for Dawson, Ryan and I. THANK YOU!!

Paperbag::Breath in::Breath out::

2009-04-28T21:53:00.000-04:00

DH and I went up to visit Dawson tonight, happy to hear that Colleen was back on after a rough night with a couple of the nurses. There was a different Dr. on tonight, and to be honest I cannot even remember his name. But he came up to give us a "bedside update" as they call it.

Today when I asked Colleen if they were still feeding him, she had told me that they stopped feeding him during the day today because of the amount of residual in his belly (meaning his belly was not passing all the milk through) and they confirmed this via xray. But she was a bit vaugue in regards the whole Xray, but I didn't even question it. Then when the Dr. came over we found out why. Apparently in the Xray today, Dawson's PDA duct (The hole in his heart) has managed to re-open. And because of the aforementioned concern with his kidneys they cannot issue another round of indocine.

Ann Arbor...here we come.

Working...

2009-04-28T10:46:00.000-04:00

While my baby is in the hospital sucks. Big time. No further text.

Rough day

2009-04-27T23:25:00.001-04:00

So today is my last day in the free world, as I am going back to work tomorrow. And while I feel great in regards to my health, when I think about not having the freedom to see my baby (and right to sleep ;D) It makes me sad. Le sigh.

I was able to go see Dawson twice today, and I cannot say that today is ranked very high on my list. My little wiggle worm managed to extubate himself today, which gave the nurse a run for her money. His levels were still okay, and his biliruben levels are down so he will only have the phototherepy for 12 hours a day now. Over the weekend Dawson's arterial IV line came out, so they put another one in today, and I watched. I didn't want to, being that I hate needles and blood, but I just could not leave him there. He "cried" the whole time, even though he makes no sound, and that hurt so bad. I know when he can cry out loud (which I CANNOT wait to hear) I will not be able to listen to that type of pain, it just hurts your heart. Looks like Daddy will be taking him for shots.

When I went back up in the evening, that stupid line had come out again, which means not only are they going to poke him all night in the heel for his blood gases, they are going to have to do another Arterial IV tomorrow. Uck.

They also are showing some concern with his kidneys, as his urine output is low considering the amount of fluids he is taking in. This is bad because that is more fluid that could potentially back up into his lungs, and it is more fluid for him to process, which is just more work for him.

I put a prayer request in a Riverview Church, and this came back from one of their members. Currently, my favorite prayer.

Heavenly Father be with Dawson as his little lungs(and kidneys) and tiny body continue to develop, and Lord be with the NICU doctors and nurses caring for Dawson. Lord give them wisdom and knowledge as they care for Dawson's needs. Lord I lift up Dawson's family that they will continue to seek you during this time. Lord I ask all this in the name of your son, Amen

Samual 1:27-28, "I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life."

2 More Pics

2009-04-27T14:03:00.000-04:00

Dawson with Dh and My Wedding Bands

Weekend Update- 4/25 & 4/26

2009-04-27T13:24:00.000-04:00

This weekend was an eventful weekend in our house! (Sat.Part 1 might be TMI for some, please feel free to skip if you like)

Saturday-Part 1- DH and I got up and around, DH was heading to his parent's to spend some time with his dad, and I was going to run around with a friend of mine, we were then going to meet up at the hospital. While I was dilly-dallying around the house and waiting for my friend to call, I was checking out my incision and making sure some swelling due to scar tissue was not getting worse. While I was feeling my scar, I happened to feel what felt like a hole right on the incision. I bent over a bit to take a look, and pushed the skin a little to raise the incision, and it popped like a zit. EW! Then from said hole, it started "draining" Um...yuk! I called the Dr. and they said it sounded normal but to come in so that they could check that the drainage did not contain any infection. So I called Ryan back to go with me. We got to the ER (In the middle of a monsoon might I add) and checked in. They got me into a room rather quickly and swabbed the incision for a culture. My OB was on call so he came down and said it looked okay, but they had to probe it. Now let me describe this process to you. They take a stick about the width of a q-tip, but the length of a straw, and stick it in the hole to see if the under portion (tissue, ute etc) stitches have come away as well. They probe both horizontally and vertically. And it hurts. Like a Bit...well you get the idea, it hurts bad. They gave me an antibiotic and discharge papers...and then all the alarms went off. Well that's just great. So we got out of dodge before it got even more chaotic.

Saturday-Part 2- So DH takes me back home to get around and then goes back to his dad's, we are to meet at the hospital in a few hours. By the time I am down getting around and pumping, the monsoon has started again. Thankfully I am parking in the ramp. I walk in and see Tom (who is a NICU RN, but not for Dawson) and some other nurses that I recognize standing at the lobby cafe. It crosses my mind that "If they are all down here...who is watching Dawson" but I bite my tongue being that I am pretty sure none of them are on Dawson today. I go to the elevators and one of them is stuck half open with a sign on it that says "ElevatorS down" but the other 2 elevators seem to be working so I get in. I get up to the NICU and start scrubbing. Then...the power goes out and it is pitch black. All of a sudden there are nurses and Dr.s everywhere swarming Dawson and checking the oscillator to make sure that it is still running. In passing I hear " Oh good, it stayed running this time"..um what?!?! Then in come the 3 nurses I seen at the cafe stand. Who are all shouting something along the lines of finding my husband. I of course am looking around like "who me? my husband? uhh what?!"

Apparently, this was not the first power outage of the night. Earlier, Sue (Dawson's nurse, who was at the cafe stand by the way, but there a cover nurse) got stuck in the elevator when the power went out, and Dawson's oscillator was not on the correct circuit and went down. They had to use the hand bag to get him oxygen. They got the circuit changed and all set, but when the power went out the second time, the nurses could not get back to the NICU via elevator, so they had to use the staff access elevators. On the way they ran into DH, who trekked up there with them. Ensue chaos. Pshew.

Sunday- My phone rings, and it is the NICU "Oh shit" but Sarah is calling me to tell me...that Dawson opened his eyes!! DH and I get around and head up to the hospital. I checked in with Sarah, and headed over, but they were shut again. Apparently, he opened them and they administered the salve..and they never opened again. So Sarah wanted to try to give him a bath to see if that would help. She washed him down from head to toe..and nothing. (We did discover though...that his hair is somewhat curly when wet...great) Then we moved on to changing the linens, and Sarah let me lift him up to do that while she managed his tube. While I was holding him up and DH was changing his blanket, 1 little peeper came open and checked me out!! After that DH and I managed to poke and prod him long enough to get him to take a look-see around at mom and dad. He was also sticking his tongue out all over and awake. We did go back after dinner too and were able to watch his assessment, which was good. She changed his position and then he started to get fussy and his levels went up, so DH and I took off and let him rest. After checking in a few hours later though, all things were back to normal and stable.

With his Bink...and no...they did not have any other color than purple.

Dawson's bink (left) and Standard size Preemie binky on the right.

With dad.

Day #4

2009-04-23T22:34:00.000-04:00

So today is good day # 4 IN A ROW!! WEWT WEWT! Stats and oxygen have all been good, Dawson got his fancy new picc line today and they are doing an Xray tomorrow morning to review his belly. If all looks well they will start feeding him again tomorrow...still at 1ml every 6 hours.

Also- we found out tonight that our 2 FAVORITE nurses (ahem ahem...Sarah and Colleen) have both signed up to follow Dawson. Which means any day they work from here on out...they are assigned to our little man. It just melts my heart to see those girls fall in love with him as much as I have...well actually probably not even close to as much but you get my drift. The ladies are chasing our little man already. In all honesty though, these girls are great! They are excellent at making sure Ryan and I are informed and know what is going on, and actually understand it. They have already proved themselves to be wonderful liasons in making sure that Ryan and I are getting our questions answered, promptly, and are great at translating everything into layman's terms for us.

We got to see Kathy again today, who was the nurse that did Dawson's transport. Talk about a sweet lady. She even went hunting alllll around the NICU to find my little guy a bink since he has been chewing on his tube a lot. They got it in his mouth (it's a little crammed with the tube and the bink in there) but man, he was sucking on that thing for dear life. He can already get it back in when it pops out!! Love him!

Roughly hard to see...the White tube on his arm is his picc line, which will now be 1 central location for all things going in and out (except air, food and well...#1 or 2 LOL) In his mouth is the tube and bink.

Same shot...bink, tube & picc line. He is wearing the Sunglasses for the Jaundice light, and the hat keeps the sunglasses in place. Except now that Dawson has a free hand ( 1 hand with no IV) he thinks its funny to move his hat and sunglasses over his ear and nose. Little stinker!

Ryan and I with Dawson's isolette

See that teeny tiny speck at the end of my fingertip...that would be Dawson's belly button...It's an innie! (Please excuse the iodine arm and flaky skin, they were cleaning up from the picc line and monitors when we got there and we booted them out!) He is usually so fresh and clean! I looooove the way he smells.

You know you're a preemie parent when...

2009-04-21T20:48:00.000-04:00

If this list looks familiar, you might be a parent of a preemie baby! We have to laugh about it to keep our sanity! :)

You know you're a preemie parent when...

*You measure everything in cc's

*Luxury = sleeping three hours in a row

*You can change your baby's diaper with one hand

*In the course of the same day, you have wanted to slap and bear hug the same NICU nurse

*You feel a secret pull of jealousy when one of your friends delivers full term

*You have gotten a rash on your hands from washing with hot water and the NICU soap... eight times in one day

*The statement "breastfeeding is simple and natural" makes you laugh -- or cry, depending on the day and the hour.

*Your baby has ever outgrown an outfit... while s/he was wearing it.

*You cry when you're happy, laugh when you're mad, and throw things across the room when you're sad.

*You could drive the route from your house to the hospital in your sleep... and maybe you have.

*You can't remember what you talked about before feeding schedules, diapers, and growth charts.

*You're more interested in your baby's diaper than the State of the Union

*Your idea of a vacation is walking outside to get the mail

*When someone offers you their hand to shake, you think twice, envisioning the germs that you might take home from them

*The sound of your baby crying is beautiful, not annoying.

*While everyone else coos, "He's so tiny!" your six-pound baby looks huge to you.

*Your heart almost bursts with love at least once a day

*You would climb to the top of Mt. Everest, barefoot, if it would help your baby to grow healthier, bigger, or stronger.

*You not only know what "bilirubin" is, you have had several extensive conversations about it.

*You never knew how grateful you could feel that your baby has gained an ounce.

*You know where all the vending machines are on your floor of the hospital... and which ones have the good snacks.

*You literally live your life one hour at a time.

*The security guard at the front door of the hospital just waves you in when he sees you.

*You are grateful for the smallest things now -- a shower, clean socks, a meal that you didn't have to cook, a friend who has a whole conversation with you without offering you any useless advice.

*When someone asks you what scent you're wearing, you say "Germ-X" without batting an eye.

*Your baby's first diaper is really a maxipad that says Pampers and has tiny tabs on it.

*The first time you changed your baby's diaper you had to wonder where his butt was.

*You had to give up your shower today to make time to read this list.

4/21

2009-04-21T20:13:00.000-04:00

Well just a short update today. Dawson is doing well, still no sign of infection and he is down to 21% oxygen (room quality). He was a good boy for Sarah today, and had Daddy and I cracking up. He was making all sorts of faces, yawning and even sucking on his feeding tube, which makes him look like he is chewing gum. He is getting closer to opening his eyes, we thought for sure they were going to pop open today when he yawned they were stretched so tight. We are also sure that we got to see his crying face today. It is so sweet because the emotion is all there across his face, and the mouth is wide open, but no sound comes out (his vent tube goes btwn the vocal chords..so no sound). All in all today was great day #2.

We did see Dr. Karna today, who has sent us on a wild goose chase for some sort of crib music player that doesn't cost a fortune, since that is very soothing for the babies, and that way he can hear something other than the vent for the next 3.5-4 months.

We also got his footprints back today, only to find out that his delivering Dr. did not sign the birth record, so we have to go get that signed at his office in Dewitt as well. Another goose chase.

No pictures today...Daddy forgot the camera...OOPS!

2 things I forgot!

2009-04-20T21:27:00.000-04:00

1- Dawson is up to 1lb 13 oz...YAY!

2- I have been fortunate enough to meet a GREAT group of women that have all been through the struggles of having a preemie in the NICU. One woman in particular also had her son Aaron at 24 weeks 6 days, only 2 weeks before Dawson arrived. Unfortunately her son is having surgery tomorrow in order to close the duct (PDA) in his heart. Please keep little Aaron in your prayers tomorrow!

4/20

2009-04-20T19:55:00.000-04:00

Well not to much has been going on since my last post, hence the lack of updates. Dawson had a pretty quiet Saturday, moderately low oxygen levels and a sleeeeepy day. I did find his ticklish spot...right below the ribs! and he got a bath, but again, not to crazy. The heat lamp came back because his bili (jaundice) levels were creeping back up there.

Sunday he had an okay day, levels were a bit higher but he was maintaining well. By the time I checked in agian wtih the night nurse, he was up to 80% and the blood gases were getting worse (these check how the oxygen is being tolerated by the body. Shows cell and platetlet counts). This was around 11pm. I called again when I got up to pump around 1:30 am and he was up to 100% oxygen (BAD!) and still was receiving poor blood gases. The nurse and I were both getting frusterated, because it seems that Dawson was not happy, but they could not figure out why. Needless to say I did not sleep well, and checked in again around 4am. He was back down to 80% and the gases were improving. They did a chest Xray and while there was not a drastic improvement from last week, it helped them make some minor changes that could help my lil guy out.

This morning Sarah (our favorite nurse) was back so I called her this morning. Dawson was slowly weaning back down on the oxygen and Dr. Karna was going to do other Xrays to keep a close eye on him. They were also bringing in another infection specialist. To me, this was redundent because all of Dawson's cultures were coming back negative, so I didn't understand why they couldn't move on. Turns out, Dawson was showing all signs of an infection..without the infection. They still came back negative today, but they did decide to pull Dawson's belly IV lines and go with IV's in his hands. A little bit more invasive, but the lines in the belly were no longer giving them the results they needed. Dawson will have these for approx 48 hours until they can make sure an infection doesn't show up now with the belly lines being moved. Then we can proceed to the picc line. YAY! This will basically be 1 central IV line for everything except oxygen and food. Unfortunately, Dawson is considered to be in critical condition again, but at least they are getting somewhere today.

They also did a blood transfusion and removed the heat lamp again today. They are back to 12 hours on...12 hours off. By 4:00 today when we visited, Dawson was back down to 30% oxygen and sleeping. His eyes are thisclose to opening, we cannnnnot wait! The Dr.s feel that they have a better hang on why Dawson is having these unstable episodes, 1 in part to the breathing tube movement. Unfortunately they are having to introduce some sedatives, because Dawson just wiggles too much and the tube then gets moved out of place. We are also back on restricted touching, we can just hold his hand, bottom or cup his legs so he feels cuddled. No stroking or tickling, because it makes him to excited. If these episodes continue, we may have to do a short course of steroids to help him out a bit. But for today, he was restful, and did the best with Ryan, myself and Sarah were at his bedside. Dr. Karna joked that none of us were going to be allowed to go home, and I am unsure how I feel about Dawson picking a girlfriend so soon =)

Dear Lord, we thank you for the time you have granted us so far with our precious son, and we pray for his continued growth and development. Please help his lungs continue to grow strong, and help him grow into a strong man of God. I am begging you to grant me more time with my baby, and keep my family strong, in both health and faith.

Amen.

I want to take a small moment to say a quick thanks. In a discussion late last week, I let it slip that I was starting to let my faith slide, not able to understand why God picked my son, and how He could let him be so sick. I was assured that my son is a blessing, which of course I knew. But I did not even think that maybe God did this because he knew Dawson was meant to be, and knew my body was sick. So rather than keep Dawson around the infection, God brought him to me early, and in the hands of the best of the best. Thank you for both the reality check, and helping me realize the God always has a master plan, and while I may not always agree or understand, it is what is best. Please continue to pray for our sweet baby, as we have already seen what a miracle Dawson is, and what prayer is doing for us.

Well..today is not my favorite day..

2009-04-17T18:29:00.000-04:00

so dawson has had a few good days this week, they were able to continue his feeding and his oxygen/ventilator needs were low. Things were looking relatively well considering. We went in tonight to visit and meet with the Dr., since we had not seen her in a couple of days. She said that dawson was not responding well to the ventilator today, and his oxygen dependency was pretty much at the max. They did another Xray of his lungs, and those are showing that there is fluid on the lungs. They referred us to a NICU book for parents and she said that we may want to focus on the lung disease portion of the book, because she was almost certain Dawson was going to have Chronic Lung disease. There isn't really anything they can do now, only nutrition and the vent can help now. We are back to waiting some more. Because of this, they cannot continue to feed him, or put in his picc lines right now. One step forward...two steps back.

4/15/09

2009-04-15T16:59:00.000-04:00

dawson is doing pretty good today, sleepy boy! His oxygen levels are back down in the 30-40 range and his is back at a stable condition! The nurse and I discussed the fact that he will be moving from a belly line to a pic line in the next couple of days, which is normal. Belly lines can only stay in for about 10 days to 2 weeks, where a pic line can remain for up to 2 months. They will also be able to feed him and give all of his meds/IV through the one line, which will be in the inside crook of his elbow, Just all around less invasive. thats about it for today!

Picture update

2009-04-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

Some new ones from today.

My little blonde boy =)

Sleepy boy!

Update- 4/14/09

2009-04-14T19:10:00.000-04:00

DH and I went up to visit Dawson today and the Dr is a bit concerned about the possibility of an infection. Dawson's oxygen needs are continuing to move from one end of the spectrum to the other, with no consistency. They did a transfusion today and a dose of steroids to the lungs yesterday, but neither seem to be helping even things out.

They have determined that my PTL was caused by an infection, as they were able to find traces of it in my placenta. While my stats at admission did not reflect an infection and Dawson has yet to show signs they are still worried. So they started 2 antibiotics today just in case. We will know in about 48 hours if there are signs of infection in his blood, but at that point we will already be 2 days ahead on the medication. We just need to pray that an infection does not reach his lungs.

One more update...

2009-04-13T17:10:00.000-04:00

And this one might be my favorite yet! I just called and spoke with Dawson's nurse about his echo today, and the hole in his heart has closed on its own...which means no surgery in Ann Arobor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo, thank you Lord, and all of you for your continued prayers. God Bless!

Update- 4/11- 4/13 am

2009-04-13T15:15:00.000-04:00

Well there have not been a whole lot of changes in Mr. Dawson. We have been visiting Dawson in the NICU everyday, and we spoke with the Dr. last on Sat, otherwise we usually just get little updates from his nurses. On Sat. Dr. Karna confirmed that Dawson had completed his 2nd round of Indocine (? that is the medicine that will be closing the duct in his heart). There were going to be doing an Echo today (4/13/09) to see if the duct had closed a bit. Now I had been told previously that the duct was appearing to close, but Dr. Karna did not bring that up. I am hoping she did so just to save my hopes from getting to high.

His lungs are looking good, and no longer requiring an additional steroid, however he is still on the Oscillator. He oxygen levels are being adjusted daily, Dawson just cannot decide where he wants to be. One moment he is low stating, and they have to turn it up, next minute he is high-stating. He is really giving the nurses a run for their money.

Dawson had is 2nd ultrasound on his brain, which revealed no hemorrhaging...YAY!

The Dr. did report that they had their first "skid mark" last Tuesday, so they would be feeding the gut some colostrum today to see how the intestines would handle.

His jaundice levels are down and stable, so now he will be off the light therapy for 12 hours during the day, but on for the 12 hours at night. His weight is fluctuation between 1 lb 7oz and 1 lb 9 oz. each day, so no major weight loss like they see in full term babies. He also finished his round of antibiotics and they have found no signs of infection so they will not be continuing those.

On SAt and Sunday, Mr Dawson was wearing a bootie on his foot...so cute! I swiped it up yesterday when he wasn't wearing it, along with his first hat so that I can put them in a shadow box. Ryan and I did get to witness his first and second round of the hiccups on Sat. and Sun, so cute...but they look a tad bit painful on such a little guy.

Sunday when we went up there, he was laying on his belly for the first time, diaper off and everything just enjoying the breeze =) Our little boy enjoys being spread eagle and nakkie! He has been responding to Ryan and I a lot, with kicking and finger holding.

I am a bit stressed today, I called our HR department, and found out that while my recovery leave will be paid in 100% up to 6 weeks. I only have 12 weeks total between both leaves. So whatever time I take now for myself to recover, takes away from the amount of time I will have with my son when he gets to come home. Also, when I take my personal leave to be with my son at home, chances are that is going to exhaust all of my personal time, and then the difference will remain unpaid under FMLA. Which stinks because then should anything happen when I go back to work, and I need a day off or whatnot it will be unpaid and my boss will technically have the option to fire me. EEK! So I will be working on that in the near future.

My little man, the recap.

2009-04-10T20:38:00.000-04:00

Tuesday night, Ryan went back over to the RNICU to check on Dawson and scope things out. They talked with Ryan a bit and explained about the ventilator, and his blood transfusions. We were able to confirm that he was O negative, and his blood gases were looking good. He was covered up with the bubble wrap, in order to keep the heat in. Ryan's parents were able to go in, along with my mom. They were not able to touch him yet. When he came back he updated me, and before bed I called the nurse to check in. She explained that they moved him from the ventilator, to the oscillator. They explained that in a way this was a minor setback, but it is more gentle because instead of hard breaths, it just puffs in constant air to keep the air pockets inflated, therefore decreasing the chance that they can stick together if they get closed-causing the lungs to colapse.

His nurse then called me again on Wed. morning and explained that thoughout the night, they were able to reduce the oxygen level. The oxygen level he receives is closer to room quality oxygen, just like I breathe.

Wednesday, Ingham was able to grant me a leave of absence to go over to Sparrow and see my son. We got there and spoke with "DR Ivonoff" who explained that we were pretty much unchanged. They confirmed that Dawson does have a hole in his heart and they are currently medicating him so that can close. We then we able to meet Dr. Karna, who will be Dawson's dr. for the long haul. She questioned me a bit to try and identify what happened to cause his delivery, but it is not something they can find. I straight out asked what Dawson's survival level was, they are quoting him at 85%, Dawson is not out of the woods just yet, but we are getting there.

The nurse they let us have a moment with Dawson, with the light off of his face and his face mask off. (This he has due to the jaundice). I just sat there with Ryan and wept. So upset at the aspect that my body had failed my baby, and not knowing what the next few months would bring for my son. The nurse came back and let me hold his hand, stroke his toes and just watch him. They were able to take the bubble wrap off, as the light was working wel enough to keep him warm. We were able to watch her take his temperature and change his diaper. The minute that diaper came off he just went spread eagle, flailing his legs and enjoying the freedom :D

When it was time for us to leave DH and I had to go back to Ingham. Dr. Ferick had come over to check on me, and just basically re-iterated that there was no way to see this coming and we really just need to hope for the best. She checked my incision and determined that I needed a checkup next week, and due to the pain from the activity on Wed. I could stay in the hospital until Friday. I called again to check on Dawson before bed, and he remained unchanged.

Thursday DH and I rested up for most of the day at Ingham, taking some time to sleep. I was also able to start pumping with a beneficial result ;D Ingham decided they would store that for me, and I could take it with me to Sparrow and they could freeze that. DH and I went over to Sparrow around 8pm and met with his night nurse, Beth. She confirmed he was still a bit unchanged, but they had done the Xray on his brain and they were able to confirm there was no blood on the brain. They also did and Echo, and found that the hole on his heart is starting to close.

Friday morning DH and I were discharged. We went over to Sparrow to visit, and I took a brief class on Breastmilk storage. The lactation consultant said that it might be in my best interest to rent a hospital grade pump, since the suction was stronger. I was fitted for that and they got me the pump. DH was able to see Dawson yawn, and see his teeny tongue. He starts blowing bubbles and he moves his legs and arms alllll over the place. He likes to tug on his ears and touch his face, but is not really a fan of having his feet touched. Its amazing to see his little personality being so feisty so soon. I called back around 7 before the shift change to check in with his nurse Shelly, and she explained that they were able to wean down his Oxygen again, twice in 1 day. We have to keep praying that our feisty boy keeps on fighting.

My son has arrived! 16 weeks early!

2009-04-08T20:54:00.000-04:00

So yesterday morning I woke up and went downstairs to use the potty. When I wiped, I found that there was bright red blood all over the tp. Thankfully Ryan was home so I just started screaming and crying for him to come downstairs. I called the on call # and we immediately left for the hospital. They got me all checked in and into an exam room, and then they were able to find Dawson's heart rate and everything seemed strong. They then decided to do an internal exam, but when they did that they found I was already dialated to 10 cm and my bag was exposed, then they did the ultrasound and Dawson was head down.

They immediately moved me to a delivery room and determined that I would be having Dawson TODAY. Ryan and I were both a little panicked, but that staff was great in explaining what we were doing and why. They then had to break my water, but the minute the bag was out of the way, my cervix retracted and they then had to wait for me to re-dialate. Thennnnn I wasn;t getting there fast enough and when Dawson's heart rate began to decline, they decided a c-section was imminent.

We moved into the delivery room and they gave me my drugs, and Dawson arrived at 10:36am, at 1lb 11oz, 12 inches long. After they got him stabilized in the delivery room they were able to move him over to the RNICU, where he will probably stay until his original due date.

They are pretty optimistic in their diagnosis. At this point Dawson is doing well, but we are just taking it one day at a time, and taking all the prayers we can get.

They still do not know what sent me into labor, they did send my placenta to the NICU for additional testing as well. They say may we never know or we might find out, they are just not to sure.

Right now DH and I are just overwhelmed. Raw at the emotions of the unknown and just praying and hoping for the best. I am going crazy from racking my brain about what I didnt see, or may have done wrong, and at the amount of worry that I have for someone so small and new to me. But now my heart beats for him, and I know that he is my world from this moment on. Just please pray, at the safe arrival HOME for our son, whenever that may be.

Cute!

2009-04-06T14:41:00.001-04:00

PARENT
Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product..
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis..

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Go Green! Go White!!

2009-04-06T09:17:00.001-04:00

So, the word sports fan may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me...but hey, I can fake it!!

On the banks of the Red Cedar,
There's a school that's known to all;
Its specialty is winning,
And those Spartans play good ball;
Spartan teams are never beaten,
All through the game they'll fight;
Fight for the only colors:
Green and White.
Go right through for MSU,
Watch the points keep growing,
Spartan teams are bound to win,
They're fighting with a vim!
Rah! Rah! Rah!
See their team is weakening,
We're going to win this game,
Fight! Fight! Rah! Team, Fight!
Victory for MSU!

Week 24

2009-04-05T20:09:00.001-04:00

24 weeks 1 day

How far along? 24 weeks, 1 days

Total weight gain/loss: up 5 lbs

Maternity clothes? For sure!

Stretch marks? On the belly, they seem to be following Dawson. The higher he situates himself in the belly, the higher they rise. Oh Joy!

Sleep: Great. I am out like a light...for about 4 hours at a time. Then I have to pee. Then I am out for an hour. Then I have to roll over. Repeat.

Best moment this week: Getting up early, having homemade breakfast and getting a TON of laundry/cleaning done. I feel so accomplished!

Movement: Every day, he moves the most after I eat.

Food cravings: Vanilla Ice cream with chocolate sauce, and strawberry's. Not together though.

Gender: Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...Its a boy!

Labor Signs: Nada..but I did experience a few BH this week.

Belly Button in or out? It is hanging on for it's life as an innie...my button is getting smaller every day

What I miss: stomach sleeping!!

What I am looking forward to: Easter Sunday!!

Weekly Wisdom: Keeping your house clean as you go is much easier than an all day cleaning marathon!

Milestones: Viability day!

Tomorrow is my V-day! YAY!

2009-04-03T09:36:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, at 24 weeks pregnant, is my Viability day. Meaning that should something go wrong, and I deliver at any point from tomorrow on, with proper NICU care, Dawson can survive outside the womb. This is also the point in which the hospital would automatically administer fetal care, whereas before 24 weeks, they do not.

YAY for my growing boy!!

Checkup today!

2009-03-31T19:49:00.001-04:00

I went to the Dr. today for my first 2 week checkup. BP was good, down a bit, and Dawson still has a HR of about 160. The little stinker kept running and kicking/ pushing on the Doppler, feisty lil guy already!! When the Dr. came in she said that my BP was still stable and all workups were coming back perfect. She says that my BP is not concerning her being that it is stable and predictable. She confirmed that she thinks between my last checkup and my trip to Labor/Delivery, my BP situation was a bit of an overreaction and Dawson and I are fine. Whew! She does want me to continue on my 2 week visits from here on out to continue to keep an eye on it, but based on my and Dawson's growth, she is sure we will go full term and be fine, granted there are no big shake ups in the 3rd. Trimester. I get to go back in 2 weeks and do my GD test...again and then another check up. I also confirmed that this spotting on my back/arms is a hormone rash..and is normal. At least now I can use cortizone instead of just lotion! Ahh the joys of pregnancy!!

How far along? 23 weeks, 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: up 4.5 lbs

Maternity clothes? Still my favorite!

Stretch marks? Still only on the belly

Sleep: I am about to hit the hay...at 8pm. Did not sleep good last night!

Best moment this week: Being told that my BP situation is under control, and I am likely to go full term!

Movement: Every day, and it still makes me smile every time!

Food cravings: It changes daily!

Gender: Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...Its a boy!

Labor Signs: Nada..Thank goodness!

Belly Button in or out? It is hanging on for it's life as an innie...

What I miss: stomach sleeping and having energy

What I am looking forward to: Jeans on Friday and Getting some good news...Hopefully. Check back later for news!

Weekly Wisdom: I cannot be wise at this time...I am to tired...However, I am really starting to LOVE ice cold water LOL..Wierd right?!

Milestones: Relaxing at the Dr. office, making a difficult decision based on the needs of my family..Again, check back later!

Oh and I almost forgot! DH and I have secured our little guy a spot in daycare! WooHoo! DH's aunt's sister (still with me) has been doing daycare for the better part of 20 years. She is constantly full, and is now caring for some 2nd generation babies, people love her that much. She is a very sweet lady and we are so excited she is going to have a spot for our babe! Can I add, that she is also right around the corner from us...on my way to work...and very budget friendly! Sooooo happy about that!